Tag Archive | Sarcasmo

Well, this is embarrassing…

It’s been so long that I’ve written anything that I couldn’t find the log-in page for this blog! *hangs head*

So, what’s up? I must confess I’ve been up to pretty much nothing. Well, nothing other than the usual anxiety (social and other), mindless household tasks, mundane routines. BLAH.

Currently sitting in front of the computer cursing whoever designed the FAFSA site. For those of you without high school age kids, FAFSA is the portal to alllll the federal college financial aid (and yet perhaps none). It was written by a master sadist. Getting past the initial log in screen takes 2 college graduates and a shot of whiskey. Different IDs for parent and student and passwords and something called “save keys” and social security numbers and the blood of a virgin, of course. And then you fill it out and get the wah wah wah sad trombone noise. And the Federal Aid Nazi yelling “NO MONEY FOR YOU!”

Sarcasmo is a senior and *fingers crossed* he’ll be heading to college in the fall. Where and how in the hell we’ll pay for it are TBD. His requirements are: warm weather, fraternities, and hot girls. Is that college or just spring break? Our requirements are: a school that will take the average white male and does not cost $60K a year. Last fall was all about the SAT and the ACT.  “Sarcasmo! You need to take an SAT class!” with responses like “Eff that!” and”OMG the SAT is so stupid” (Okay, yes, it sucks but you have to get a nearly perfect score on the damn thing to get into a college in VA) and later, Shit, I’m gonna bomb the SAT, I need to take a class.” and  “Oh, my friend so-and-so took a class and it cost about $2K but my other friend just got a tutor that charges $500 an hour” (btw, this is REAL) And “Have you filled out that college app?” and “DAMMIT SARCASMO! The app is due at midnight and you have 2 essays to write!”

From the Frug’s perspective, it’s all been $$$. $ for the private school, $ for the SAT classes, $ for the SAT itself, $ for the college apps (each one costs between $45 and $70 and average white boys need to apply to a bunch of places b/c holy shit, it’s hard to get in!), $ to get the scores sent to the colleges (more for rush services but aren’t they just pressing a button that says “send“??)…for me, it’s been about organization (god help us all)…The mystery of “Naviance” where all dreams become reality. Snort. Your possible colleges must be added to a list and tracked on there and the Common App (which isn’t what I thought) must be linked to it…then the college counselor uses it to submit transcripts and track statuses. Who is writing my average white boy a recommendation? Where’s that form? Why hasn’t X college received his scores yet? What are his chances at X school? Look at the scattergrams! 

Going gray(er)…and feeling completely spent creatively…IDEK.