So, we did our ‘spa’ thing for hours on Sat. then shopped. My phone died so I wasn’t able to check my celeb crap all day. Killed me 😉 But, I was pretty sure that Mr. Pattinson was already gone so it was tolerable. AND, not being able to be reached by the Cling-Ons that I gave birth to was a major bonus. Anyway, ended up back at the Not Soho and used my new $12 sketchy-bought-from-street-vendor charger. Checked out radaronline (one of the 72 places I go for up-to-the-minute gossip) and I find out RPATTZ is STILL IN NYC. Holy crap! Time for scheming! LOL
We decide on Thai food (lower east side – called Sea I think??)…Not happy w/my outfit sadly. Grey mini dress (cute – Michael Stars bought thru RueLaLa — Bargain baby!) with tights and black shooties (shoe/booties)…it just wasn’t quite right…you know those times when you have things that are fine individually but just won’t work all together?…and since i was so frugal while shopping I had no other options…grumble…hair marginal…face flushed from saunas…eyes bloodshot from last night’s alcohol consumption and lack of sleep. I threw back THREE champagne cocktails (called Strawberry Mojos b/c of the yummy strawberry puree in them!) while dissecting my entree. Over dindin we discussed our potential destinations…I read that RPattz was possibly staying at the Bowery Hotel. They have a fun ‘lounge’ there so we decided to check it out after dinner. Tried to come up with a code word in case we spotted him. OHMYGODITSROBERTPATTINSON was really just not going to work, kwim? Ash and Robin were coming up with terrible code words like ‘Sparkle’ and ‘Vampire’…jesus, may as well just say OHMYGODITSROBERTPATTINSON, kwim?
So, the Bowery Hotel…so cool. Very cozy, shabby-chic…but British and hunt country too…make any sense? We walked right in…which, from what I have since read, is unusual b/c there are parts of it that are ‘hotel guests only’. Settle in for cocktails in the back bar area. Had my first of THREE champagnes. Only $22/glass, not bad right?! haha Welcome to Manhattan, bitches!! Sat in a comfy couch w/the girls and chilled. A Seth Green-looking guy came over to chat us up. So cute and funny. He was drinking an absinthe cocktail and a coke and carried a Glen-something bottle of scotch. Set for the night, right? He seemed to like Ash and bonded w/her with the acting thing. But, we dismissed him quickly…not there for the Seth Greens of the world, kwim? After about an hour, we realized my man wasn’t there. Moved on to the next spot.
The B Bar…right across the street. Hung out and had a yummy sangria. Amazingly I was still able to stand up at this point. Moved onto a latte tho…Ash & Robin ordered triple espressos…with butter? Seriously, the coffee came w/butter. Bartender thought it was white chocolate but she was very very wrong! lol Quick comment on the bathroom there (after god-knows-how-many-drinks I was in there a number of times!)…it had an Attendant. I HATE that. I am fully capable of getting my own soap…and turning the water on…and getting a paper towel. And, I don’t want to have to tip someone in the bathroom. Do not want to linger in there..fumbling w/dollar bills, etc. It’s just uncomfortable. And, you also don’t want to be the bitch who doesn’t tip…it’s just bad all around.
So, at this point, Robin and I decide we really liked the Bowery Hotel bar and want to go back. Ash thought it was pretentious. (for the record, it sort of was, but I liked it!) My lovely niece thinks going to a drag queen bar would be better. WTF??? Don’t get me wrong, I love drag queens. I have been to the Drag Queen races in DC. Sometimes, with a bad eyebrow dye job, I even LOOK like a drag queen. I am down with them. We manage to veto her (2 against 1 but she is a fiesty domineering bitch sometimes! lol and so so not kidding)…
Cue me semi-stumbling in the street and laughing and talking loudly about Rob. Like, what would I do if I saw him? What would I say? Would I say anything? What if he really looks like a 23 year old baby? Like, what if I see him and POOF my panties fly off? What if I trip and fall and my tongue accidentally goes done his throat? Don’t recall much more…other than me yelling the word VAGINA and cackling. Repeatedly.
(have decided to make this into 2 posts b/c it’s gotten impossibly long!)
Sorry! See Part II in a bit, okay????