Win #1 — Overcame my evil Rejection Streak with the folks at Urban Dictionary! My new word is Tweetsturbate!
You’ve just replied to yourself on Twitter…that’s Tweetsturbating! (tweet + masturbate). Similar to writing on your own Wall on Facebook. It’s a faux pas. It just isn’t done.
Win #2 — also from Twitter — and btw, please don’t follow me on Twitter, the stuff I post there makes this blog look G rated…Anyway, I got an email from Nordies alerting me to some NEW SPRING SHOES!! *screeches* Looking at the shoes made me feel hopeful…like Spring will actually come..someday. I found a pair that gave me a shuddering shoegasm…Take a gander at these Vera Wang’s:
A veritable steal at $425, right? *rolls eyes* BUT I LOVE THEM! Can’t you just see me in them??? *sighs*
So, I tweeted about them…and @Nordstrom saw my tweet and re-tweeted it to ALL of their followers!!! Almost 99,000 people follow @Nordstrom. And they ALL saw something *I* said. I am drunk on my newfound power. *giggles*
Cannot believe I haven’t shared my thoughts on New Moon! Damn real life gets in the way of all my fun! LOL
So, met Kelly (friend from HS and college who I haven’t seen in about 11 years!) for the 9:40am show on 11/20. Also saw Tanya, Colleen, Sherri, Iliana (think I butchered her name!), and others…they had a huge group! Anyway, the movie. Haven’t ever EVER been so excited for a movie! Had you noticed I was fired up? Btw, I was wearing a CUTE New Moon shirt! (Why can’t I figure out how to make this image larger?? sigh) Not to be a bitch but this shirt looks way cuter on me 😉
Naturally, I loved New Moon. I laughed, I cried. I thought Kristen Stewart really killed it (in a good way!) and just nailed Bella’s depression. I think people have issues with her protrayal of Bella b/c they want to see some over-the-top screaming/crying/drama all the time…but Bella is very introverted and doesn’t act like that, kwim? But, KStew really looked DEAD inside. Perfect. And that song ‘Possibility’ was perfect with it. I was getting annoyed with Bella for really really getting so chummy w/Jake. Yeesh. Whore! LOL
Edward. NOT ENOUGH EDWARD. Granted, we got more Edward than the book, but still not enough. Never enough. The apparitions were done well. But, need more of my man on the screen, damnit! This is an issue I have with the Twilight movie too…both movies…they don’t show enough of Edward and Bella and their relationship. And the long looks, the stroking..the kisses on her jawline..her ears…the ones that make her pretty much faint…In the Twilight movie, basically, they kiss once then it’s Vampire Baseball and James nearly killing her. Edward doesn’t even say ‘I Love You’ in the Twilight movie (but in the book he says it all the time)…in New Moon, it pretty much opens on her bday and then he breaks up w/her. If people only see the movies they will totally be Team Jacob b/c you never get to see the real meat of the Edward/Bella bond. Oh, did anyone else notice my man Robert Pattinson looks so much more manly in this movie? Maybe b/c he lost the gay gray pea coat? But anyway, his face just looked much more masculine. Yum. And, they didn’t use too much makeup on him this time either. Thank goodness. Oh, and the scene w/him taking his shirt off? I read that they airbrushed his abs on. Not that I care. But. more importantly, his freaking pants were pretty much OFF…and I guess vampires do not wear undies? Not that I’m complaining but one more centimeter and we would have seen something super fun sparkling! 😉
one more inch..one more centimeter even...good-bye PG-13!
Jacob. I am obviously NOT on his team! I read the books. I usually skip the wolf crap b/c it gets in the way of my Edward fantasies. Now, if I had only seen the movie New Moon, and not read the book, I would def. be on Team Jacob. Taylor Lautner did a great job. And, no, I am not talking about his abs. I hate body builder abs. I hate guys who spend more time on their appearance than I do! Anyway, his relationship w/Bella, as shown in the movie, was so warm and sweet and caring…so exactly what she needed. Bella was all over him too. Always snuggling close to him…even when he was just working on the motorcycles. No wonder the poor guy was so besotted by her! In the book, I def. didn’t see her being so huggy w/him. Oh, the jorts? (jean shorts?) ICK. Body builder guys in jorts? So ICKY!!! eeuuww.
Wolf Pack. Loved them. So cute and puppy-like. When Jake and Paul are fighting, it made me miss my dog! LOL But, the wolves really lightened things up and I like the cgi stuff. In the books, I never envisioned them being that huge. They were @()$&@ HUGE! That Victoria better run and FAST!
Emily and Sam. Loved the two of them. You could see the love. Which I wish they could have done more of that with Edward/Bella. Oh, and back to Emily. She’s the like den mother for this pack of wolves. And, that’s part of why I couldn’t ever be on Team Jacob. I didn’t want Bella to end up like Emily. Cooking nonstop for a bunch of furry frat boys. UGH. Can you imagine the stench? Yeesh.
ALICE. I love Alice. She’s my fav vampire. Ashley Greene looked gorgeous. Especially in the Italy scenes. She also got to deliver some funny anti-wolf lines. LOVE. Oh, and I also loved that Bella emails Alice and it gives a way for her to do voice overs w/out being totally contrived and annoying. But, it also contributes to the SAD. Her best friend changed her email address? No wonder she had to resort to spending time w/dogs.
I love her! I even want those stupid fingerless gloves!
Cullens? Need more Cullens. Rosalie and Jasper looked really really weird though. They need to figure out their wigs, pronto. (worries me that Eclipse has already wrapped…what if their wigs look even worse than they do in New Moon?) I do heart Carlisle tho. I love PFach in real life too. I love that he’s married to Jennie Garth who is forever Kelly Taylor to me! She got to do Dylan AND Brandon! And dump both of their sorry asses with the ‘I Choose Me’ episode. Yes, I was on Team Kelly, NOT Team Brenda! Surprised? 😉
Italy reunion. Love. I wanted more talk though. The movie really quickly gets them back together and again, it’s not enough for people to get why they are together and why she takes him back so easily. Which also killed me in the book. Dude tells you he doesn’t want you/doesn’t love you, leaves you in the woods and even takes all your stuff that would be a reminder, takes your best friend too? Is gone for 6 months without 1 word…even though I am not into confrontations, Edward should have had to work harder at getting her back. Esp. in the movie where Jacob looks like Mr. Wonderful compared to the mean, cold vampire who cruelly dumps Bella basically on her bday. (I read a fanfiction called ‘My Yes/My No’ that goes into all the stuff Bella could have/should have gotten into with Edward when they reunited. All the tough questions..more than ‘oh, I lied. So sorry’ and BAM back together. Oh, and some sexy stuff too! lol)
Volturi. Loved Jane. Need more and more JANE! Aro, Caius, Marcus? Meh. They all seemed sort of gay to me. Their hair sucked. I don’t know what I envisioned for their ‘look’ but it wasn’t little gay pageboys. Felix and Demetri? YES! I liked the fight scenes. Poor Edward got the crap beaten out of him but he deserved it for hurting Bella! 😉
Charlie. Loved him. Billy Burke is awesome. Lots of little smiles/smirks and caring looks. Very introverted yet worried Dad stuff.
Mike/Jessica/Angela/other random humans. All love. Especially Jessica. Which is odd b/c I love Angela from the books and HATE Jessica! I don’t understand how they just let her be all depressed like that for so long? My girls would never let that happen to me! And I am a professional wallower! 😉
I have actually only seen the movie ONE TIME! Can you believe it? But, from what I have read about the box office, New Moon seems to be doing just fine without me! LOL 😉 So, those are my thoughts for now. I reserve the right to update this!
Yeah, I am *that* obsessed. Had to buy the freaking BK 6 pack o’Burger Shots w/the New Moon pack.
my tummy hurts just looking at those damn burgers
So, for almost $7, I got a 6 mini heart attacks in a New Moon box, fries, Diet Coke in a New Moon cup, fries, and a ‘Gift of Holiday Value’…I thought it would be a pack of trading cards (I need that like a hole in the head, right?) but it’s a pack of coupons, essentially. Very pretty cards (not card stock tho) images of the Wolf Pack (am warming up to those damn wolves…the one who plays Sam has a sexy deep voice!), Bella, The-Wolf-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, Volturi (no Jane though WTH?), Cullens, the hot embracing Bella/Edward shot, and mmmmmmm Edward.
Edward, we have a date on Friday 11/20. I'll be the MELF in the front row, wearing a Nordies New Moon shirt.
The coupons are for New Moon stuff at Borders, Toys R Us, Cafe Press, Torrid (this sounds like a porn thing?), Hot Topic…I wonder if they are hoping that people will want to keep these and NOT redeem them? Corporate Marketing Bastards.
Complaints? Naturally, it’s ME! LOL Burger Shots? Even the name sort of grosses me out. A ‘shot’ of meat?? WTH? I wish it was a regular Kids Meal. 6 mini burgers is still a boat load of meat, kwim?? I ate 2 of them and still feel the little hockey pucks sitting like lead in my stomach. Ugh. I cannot go to see Edward with a bloated stomach! LOL AND, I am just realizing that there was no stinking BK crown. Hmph.
Went back to the Nordstrom Half Yearly Sale Friday. Just b/c they didn’t personally invite me doesn’t mean I will stay away, damnit! 😉 Nice try.
I was thinking/obsessing about a pair of jeans. I don’t spend a lot of money on jeans (yes, Frug, it’s true – I do NOT spend too much on jeans!) However, the jeans I was obsessing over are by Citizens of Humanity AND the style is called KELLY. Obviously I had to have them. I truly cannot resist anything with my name. Have shoes, lipstick, etc. all called Kelly. Possibly due to my narcissism? No, not that! Who me? LOL
I sent the Tinas a pic of a shoe that Nordies has on sale. It’s called Tinas:
Look at them! Adorable! Irresistible!
Look at these shoes! Leopard (or is it cheetah?) rrooarrrrr mmeeeeooowwww And, the name? They are meant for the Tinas! The Tinas were like ‘oh, I couldn’t pull those off’ and ‘no money, damnit’…I think anyone could pull these shoes off! Plain black dress or skirt, understated…them BAM cheetah pumps! Or, with jeans…outfit seems boring til you see the cheetahs peeking out from under the jeans! It’s a win no matter how you slice it. And the money? C’mon! They are on sale! The recession is over! Buy the shoes! If I didn’t already have a pair of platform, peep toe animal print pumps I would be all over them.
Anyway, back to me. As always! 😉 After visiting the jeans for a day or so, I buy them. They are pretty perfect. Medium rinse, not too light, not too dark. Bootcut, not too wide, not skinny. A bit long but with the Flintstone length legs I’m working with,
Freakishly long torso, short legs - so hot, right?
it’s not a surprise 😉 They manage to make it up/over my thighs AND they don’t gap at the waist (low rise, of course, but don’t gap, amazing)…So, I buy them. They were 50% off but still…I usually buy jeans at the GAP Outlet! 😉 Well, I am walking out of Nordies and the (@&$@$ alarm goes off. The stupid cow neglected to remove the security sensor thingy. And, since these are pricey jeans, it’s a special sensor…it has an alarm PLUS lights! And, it’s so so so loud. Everyone in the store stopped to stare at the shoplifter. GAH. I laughed and played it off but I hate people staring at me, judging. The security guy was nice, thankfully. He told me that the sensor actually gets LOUDER the farther you go out of the store. He said shoplifters usually just drop the bags and RUN. Which I felt like doing, just due to the humiliation factor, kwim?
So, I am thinking that somehow the Frug was alerted to my spending. He actually used to have an app that alerted him to any AmEx charges…it would pop up on his computer screen…WTF? Who does that??? But, I think the sheer volume of my purchasing fried his computer so he abandoned that 😉 I think somehow he was involved in the awful security fiasco…trying to humiliate me into giving up those jeans. Nicely played, Frug. But a FAIL nonetheless. The KELLY jeans are MINE! muahahaha
Got my daily covet.com email…if you haven’t done covet yet, DO. It’s cool…you log in, answer qestions about what you like to wear and why…it tells you what kind of style you have (and if you don’t agree with what it says, you just change it!)…then there are more ?s about sizes, favorite brands, etc. Each day, I now get an email from them w/items they think I would like that are ON SALE! Frug-Approved! Their tag line? “Shop Without Sin” I love it! 😉
So, I got the email yesterday and it had a banner ad for the Nordstrom Half-Yearly Sale! WTF? How did I not know about this?! If you recall, I was already peeved back in July when I wasn’t informed of the Anniversary Sale! I thought my ire would get some sort of attention from them, damnit! I even went in and bought some slutty shoes! Le sigh. They are still avoiding me. Bastards. Maybe it has something to do with my blogging about finding a sh*t smear in their restroom??
Maybe I will boycott THEM! HA! That will teach them to ban me from their email lists and Important Customer calls. Harrumph.
First of all, there are over 57,000 results when googling ‘Public Restroom Etiquette’! That should tell us something! I liked this Top Ten list… It’s a good overall list of what not to do…
However, since I am a graphic person, my thoughts are in the toilet. Literally. Specifically, what to do when you have had a hideous stinky dump. Do you stay in there until the smell dissipates? Do you acknowledge it? As in mumbling ‘sorry’ to the person about to go in? Or do you just pretend it didn’t happen? Head lowered, wash hands and race away? Of course, I am not in any way, shape, or form referring to my own excrement, which is tiny and delicate and smells like flowers. I am talking about the countless times I have walked into a stall and thought ‘MFWTF?’ and wanted to vomit but couldn’t b/c then I would have to put my head into the source of the smell!!
I think I may give this stuff out as stocking stuffers this year. But, what I really want is for every public restroom to supply it. Kind of like the hand sanitizer dispenser. Just install this in each stall. You know, I bet the Japanese have already figured out a way to take care of this issue. Completely enclosed stalls that seal shut…fans suck the stench…chemicals kills the germs…I bet it takes a couple of seconds and then VOILA! You can open the stall door with confidence.
The impetus for this post? Ugh. Well, as I said, I have the shitty(!) luck to be the one to walk into stench filled stalls all the time. However, the other day, I had an experience that started me thinking about WTH is wrong with people and were they all raised in barns?? Was in NORDSTROM, not Shoppers Food Warehouse. At SFW, I expect to encounter the aftermath of human sacrifice in their hideously maintained facilities. I would rather squat behind a bush than use their restrooms! Anyway, at Nordies I expect it to be clean, at the very least. Well, I went into a stall…and thought, ‘hmmm, is there a shitty diaper in here?’ No. But, someone completely missed the toilet. Must have been a toddler or an old lady, kwim? Like, well, I am in the stall, maybe I can just shit anywhere. @(U$()U@ It wasn’t a log or anything but it was a poorly wiped up smear of poop…a large one. Jesus, I could throw up just thinking of it. AAHH
Again, etiquette. If you take a crap on the floor of the restroom, please clean it up…and if you can’t, please please please, find an employee of the store and and blame it on someone else…just get the pros in there to clean. For the love of God…
So sad. I used to get phone calls to remind me, a Very Important Customer, to come in to shop the Sale. The Shoe Dept and certain cosmetics counters would call me, tantalizing me w/the special purchase offers, etc. No more. Back in my shopping heyday (pre-Brad), I was a Nordy-holic. Lunches w/Rachel at the Cafe…makeovers with Tina. Le sigh. I was at the mall today, shopping for Brad’s bday, and saw the signs. Stab in my heart.
One of Brad’s first acts as Husband and Chief Bill Payer was to take my Nordstrom card and CUT IT UP. I heard something about “24% interest” and “large balances” or something but I was too busy shrieking and crying to pay attention.
Anyway, if you are employed, have a life that doesn’t revolve around child care/dog walking/laundry, go check out the shoes…the glorious shoes.