Tag Archive | lowlights

Sea Hag to Old Whore Update

So, as promised, here’s my update on my magical transformation from Sea Hag back into an Old Whore. Cue eye roll and derisive snicker. Back in Sept., you may recall that I looked in the mirror and, much to my chagrin, saw the yellow fried straw that was my hair…the wrinkled brown-spotted leather that was my skin…the sagging mass of jello that was my butt…I vowed to ameliorate (that’s for you, Jen) the hideous situation(s)…

So, part of my plan has WORKED!  Shocking!!  Here’s the good stuff:

LATISSE!  WOW.  This stuff really really works.  Been using it since early Sept. My eyelashes are, in word, f*ckingamazing.  Long LONG. Black. So black that I can go without mascara (actually look better without mascara b/c they are just so long — the mascara is best saved for Date Nights or other special occasions) and are so black that it seems to look like I have eyeliner on (top only) even when I don’t!  WIN WIN WIN!  The only drawback, if you could call it that, is that the lashes do need to be curled or I look a bit like the Snuffleupagus.  And, I have decided to start using the Latisse every other night, rather than every night.  Cannot imagine having them even longer than they are! Epic WIN! 😉

long, black, uncurled lashes

The next thing that was WORKED (woot!) is the Sketchers Shape Ups! Remember these not-cool-looking sneaks?

Shape Ups for the WIN!

They are vaguely orthopedic looking, no?  But, they are so comfy.  Seriously could wear them all day and night.  I wear them on the treadmill, walking the Black Beast, doing errands.  It’s like walking on fluffy clouds.  AND, the best part?  I swear to God…my butt *is* higher and tighter!  Not like you would ever look at me and say ‘OMG, her butt is so small and tight and hot’ or anything..but…I am 43 and my butt is looking maybe 40 now! 😉  Another WIN!

Onto the hair.  This one is difficult to categorize due the ever-changing nature of the beast.  One day I’m freshly highlighted and trimmed, the next? Big gray stripe and split ends!  WTH?  But, overall, my hair is vastly improved. Have had it done 3x since Sept. (maintenance is a b*tch, people) with LOWlights…had the just the roots touched up as well. And, I asked my guy, Danny, to ‘warm it up’ this last time.  And THAT has really helped.  It’s just so much better than my ‘cool’ tone, which surprised me b/c I am naturally more of an ash blonde (and G is a very ashy almost green haired kid)…but, instead of it becoming orangey or reddish (which is what warm meant in my head), it’s just subtly more of a caramel tone, I think. Still highlighted but toned way down. Much much better, methinks.

Now, the one thing that hasn’t really worked.  The skin. Have used the tri-luma cream since mid-September.  Overall, my skin is lighter and slightly (very) more even.  However, there are still brown splotches!  I have even been using an SPF 50 moisturizer each day! AND, on the advice of the esthetician, I added a glycolic acid as part of the a.m. routine.  Really hoped for more.  She had said that I would probably want to move to something more aggressive like the Obagi stuff. (LMac?  Good stuff, right??)  Sigh.  I guess so.  KBB advised a laser treatment but I’m still too scared 😉  Oh, and another downside is that you cannot wax when using a retinoid like tri-luma.  Apparently, the skin is weakened and the wax could rip off another layer (or 2!) of skin!  Yikes.  So, that meant I have had to do ‘threading’ which is &@$@) torture.  Brows, lip, chin.  Agony. Way more painful than waxing.  Grumble.

Overall, not too shabby.  At my age, I will take any improvements!  Better to move ever-so-slightly ahead than to backslide, right?? Right.  But, we’re having this blizzard and what’s a girl to do? EAT. Not walk the doggie in her Shape Ups. Merry Fatmas! LOL

A Facial, Progress on Fall Goals, Adios Sea Hag?

Had a much needed facial on Saturday!  Went to a ‘Day of Beauty’ event at Dr. Bitar’s office (dermatologist/plastic surgeon) a week or so ago b/c I saw an ad for 20% off products or services…I am so so so frugal, no? LOL  Anyway, I had a quick (free) consult w/their Esthetician and set up the facial appt. The facial was done by Amy and I loved her!  She was very sweet and non-judgemental about my sun damage and very encouraging that it could be tackled!  I hate going into a doctor or a spa and being lectured about staying out of the sun, etc. I *know* all that, damnit!  I’m sorry that I am an 80’s girl who had tanorexia!  Just fix me!  Anyway, the facial was their deep cleansing one…very standard stuff…cleansing, exfoliating, extractions(my fav!!!), glycolic treatment (she said she was mixing a couple of them together)…she also put a vitamin C serum on my face

smells like BACON!

smells like BACON!

and it doesn’t smell like oranges as I expected…it smells like BACON.  How weird is that??  Kind of off-putting…but, it’s supposed to be great stuff.  Anyway, at the end, she did a little of the Jane Iredale makeup…just a little touch-up…which I loved too!  Hate walking out of a facial all naked faced and splotchy, kwim? Here’s the best part…after I got dressed and was leaving, there WASN’T a bunch of products waiting for me. You know how some facials end up being a sales pitch??  Cannot stand that.  All blissed out, feeling smooth and soft and then BAM! Buy this stuff.  So uncomfortable.  Either the Esthetician is standing there watching you or the receptron (shout out to Rae Rae!) is looking at your like you are a cheap b*tch for not buying the products.  GAH. Buzzkill!  She gave me a nice sized sample of the vitamin C serum and a skin firming moisturizer, and some tips about using the TriLuma cream (I waited to actually start this cream until after the facial b/c she wanted to be sure the glycolic acids didn’t irritate my skin too much)…oh, one more thing, while she was rubbing my face (love!) she sort of bumped my eyelashes a few times and I made a comment about having started the Latisse recently…she said she could see new lash growth!  And so can I!  Feeling very lush-lashed! 😉  It seems a bit soon to see the growth but I can!  Yeah!

What else?  Got low lights yesterday…desperately needed them…can’t really tell how they look b/c I didn’t get a blowout (another $40 and again, I am so frugal!)…we’ll see on Friday night when I get all fancy for another school cocktail party 😉

Have you ever heard of Rue La La? It’s like an online sample sale…I have gotten so many bargains! My most recent was MD Skincare…got the Alpha Beta® Daily Body Peel! It is on their website for $78 and I got it for $39!!!  Frug approved! 😉

Look out, Aniston!

Look out, Aniston!

I have read that my skin goddess, Jennifer Aniston, gets microderm all over her body…so, this is my at-home attempt to get HER glowing body 😉 haha Good Luck, right?  I did it last weekend and I will again tonight…there are 2 sets of pre-soaked pads…one with the peel stuff and one with the neutralizer stuff…you just basically wipe it on (til the pad is dry) where ever you want to get rid of dull dry skin on your body! Waaaaay better than some of the in-shower scrubs…they disapoint me greatly. Make me all greasy feeling too. Ugh.

So, working on the condition of my aging skin…dry skin on body…fresh LOWLIGHTS…can I kiss Sea Hag-dom good-bye?  Nah, not yet.  Soon though…as God is my witness, I will cast off this mantle of the Sea Hag!

To Do List for Fall

Okay, the temperature out there in the last week or so has made me think FALL might actually be here. Seriously though, how does the weather *know* that Labor Day is over?  Seems like BAM, temps drop, the sun sets earlier…even the quality of the sunlight is different…then again, it could be that I FINALLY have some Kelly Time and can actually see straight now that the angels are in school?! 😉

So, the Sea Hag fiasco

googled "Sea Hag" and found this! LOL

googled "Sea Hag" and found this! LOL

during my Dewey vacation and its ugly aftermath has helped me set some Fall Goals:

  1. Take care of my SKIN! Get rid of those dark patches and fine lines and make myself NOT look 43 (or older!)
  2. Treadmill needs to become my bestie.  Frenemy?
  3. Do some Body Pump classes at the gym.  I *know* they work and give me results….why don’t I ‘just do it’????
  4. LOWLIGHTS. Deep conditioning treatments! De-Straw the ‘do!
  5. Find some sort of STYLE that suits my age and body type and personality.  This one is going to be very tough!
  6. Find a bra that actually fits and lifts the girls UP to their pre-baby position!
  7. Organize my closet!
  8. Eat healthier!  (with summer over, I guess those funnel cakes will stop taunting me, right?)

    mmmmmm funnel cake drool slobber

    mmmmmm funnel cake drool slobber

In general, I guess this list could be summed up by “Stop looking like a Fat Old Whore!”  I have taken some baby steps already…have started hitting the gym immediately post-carpool…I have zero energy in the a.m. but if I put the workout off til later…it just doesn’t happen!  Polly Procrastinator and her sister Lazy Lucy want me to sit in my office and surf the internet for Rob Pattinson pix

mmmmmmm Robert Pattinson

mmmmmmm Robert Pattinson

and Twilight/New Moon info instead! 😉  See also: spending time on customizedgirl.com designing my Mrs. Cullen thong…it takes TIME!  Which font? Which color panty and which color screenprint?  So much to do, so little time!  Oh, btw, found this guy’s blog…it’s Kristen Stewart Wants It…it cracked me up…he writes haikus and talks about how much KStew wants it…funny stuff 😉

Where was I? Oh, making progress on de-hagifying myself…have an appt for a facial…have started taking off my make-up at night (seriously, this is probably the first time in my life that I have done this)…and then I am applying Latisse on my lashes and a ‘firming’ night cream on the dehydrated face…what else?  Have an appt to get my color done…buh bye brassy!  Hello, silky lowlighted locks? HA!  It seems like no matter what I ask for, it’s just BLONDE.  Grrr  I like Bar Rafeali’s color (she used to date Leonardo DiCaprio…Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue…

See, brown hair w/blonde highlights-why is that so hard to get?

See, brown hair w/blonde highlights-why is that so hard to get?

She is replacing gorgeous Gisele in the True Religion ads b/c Gisele is preggo w/potentially the world’s most perfect baby – seriously Gisele and Tom Brady??  Hope all those perfect gorgeous genes don’t combust and make a fug baby! 😉

Oh, one more thing…I bought a pair of skinny jeans!  Can you believe it??  I know!  One of my first blogs was about how I HATE them and how you need to ask yourself ‘am I skinny?’ before thinking about wearing them!  I guess it’s like anything else…first you mock it…then it worms it’s way into your brain…and then you have to have it!  LOL  Haven’t worn them yet. Still thinking about the shoes.  Ash says ballet flats but I cannot CANNOT wear those!!

see? even this model looks a little dumpy w/flats...

see? even this model looks a little hippy w/flats...

Stumpy legs in skinny jeans and flats??  If you see me in ballet flats, just shoot me, please. Found this at Women’s Fashion Suite:

Skinny Jeans with Flats

There is another way to wear designer skinny jeans, but it’s difficult to pull off, as it exaggerates the hips and butt, and can make even slender women look heavy. This infamous style is, of course, the skinny jean worn with flat shoes. A word of warning: skinny jeans should never be worn with sneakers.

Soooo, gotta sign off now…the Black Beast needs to roam our neighborhood in search of the best spots for his pee…