Last summer, Ashlee tried to tell me about Amy Schumer. “OMG, you’ll love her!” Meh. Not interested. Until now. She. Is. Amazing. She’s doing these music videos/reg. videos that have me both howling and nodding my head “YES!” Hard to pick a fave. I may blog about them separately.
Today’s Amy Schumer classic is “Last Fuckable Day“…a group of actresses/comedians are celebrating one’s “Last Fuckable Day” — the last time she is considered “fuckable” in Hollywood. Which is, of course, before 40 generally. And men stay fuckable forever. Even when they are old and grey and wrinkled everywhere. Ahem. Think about it. George Clooney. Still fuckable at 53 (54 next week, old man!) and yet Madonna (MADONNA!) is gross and unfuckable at 56. She made out with Drake at a concert and he looked like he wanted to throw up. MADONNA IS UNFUCKABLE, people. I mean, who’s next? Is Courteney Cox unfuckable at 50? Jennifer Aniston at 46??
I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. As women, we age and get OLD. Men age and get “distinguished.” Why is that? We try so hard. We certainly try harder than they do. Jerks. We exercise and diet and use pills and potions and injections and surgery and still end up as gross old ladies. WHY WHY WHY? I turned 49 this year and I am definitely looking and feeling every single minute of 49. I read an interview with Candace Bergen. She is GORGEOUS, right? Classically beautiful woman. She said something like “where there used to be interest, there’s nowpoliteness.” Politeness. Yes. I find that I’m getting so many more “ma’ams” than ever. And no man under the age of 60 even glances in my direction. Not that I need to be ogled but I really feel invisible. Just another older lady walking down the street. Avert your eyes.
Is it just me or does Brad Pitt have a little Jack Nicholson thing going on here? Something about the glasses and the smile…and I hate his hair!!!! It needs a good shampooing and a CUT! Maybe he and Tom Brady can get a 2-for-1 special??
And I HATE her dress. And her stupid ugly tattoos. *growls*
Now, THESE pix epitomize Cannes and the old/hot Brad Pitt for me:
See??? I know he was already banging AJ behind her back BUT the Pitts looked glowy and happy here.
No no and Hell NO. Jake? Really? He’s GAY, people. Okay, bi. But still. Jen, do NOT do a fakey Jakey romance. You do NOT need publicity like that…find a nice musician or something. No Athletes, No Actors. And no one gay please. Jeez Louise. And he’s not even Hot Gay. He’s total buttaface to me. He’s like a mopey bassett hound or something.
Her new movie is getting shiteous reviews AND Angelia still has Brad AND she still has John Mayer stench on her BUT…it’s her bday and she looks faboo! Always gorgeous skin and hair and big smile on her face. Love her!
Seriously, why do I care that these 2 are splitting?? Is it b/c they got married just after the Frug and I did? Is it b/c she was on Friends and I loved that show? B/c she and Jennifer Aniston are besties and you know that I love Jen??? Or, is it b/c we’re pretty much the same age?
I have no idea why. But I do care. And I’m sad! They didn’t seem like “The Perfect Couple” at all. But they seemed like 2 goofy and, dare I say, normal people (normal for Hollywood, kwim? I’m not that naive!) They weren’t always in the press saying those icky celebrity couple quotes”oh, he’s my soul mate’ and ‘we’re so happy and wonderful’ all the time…Not posing for People Magazine, being show offy, kwim? *sighs*
Another one bites the dust. I wonder if she and Jen will be out prowling together??? (A Frug fantasy! lol)
In Style is loving Jen’s look here. Me? Not so much. You know I love her, right? Oh well. I think her top is bunchy and I’m not inlove with the two-tone look she’s working…AND the high waisted skirt isn’t a fav of mine either (has some sort of tie barnacle thing). AND, I don’t love her shoes with that – either match the top or the skirt please. (just my humble opinion here!) AND, her hair is a bit limp…overall, she just isn’t her Glowing Jennifer Aniston self, kwim?
On the plus side, her legs look skinny and toned and seem a mile long (jealous! wah!) and overall, her body is still kick ass…damn her.