Tag Archive | bowery bar

Bowery Hotel – Part 2

So, this is the long awaited PART 2 of Saturday in NYC.  I believe I left off as I was stumbling down the streets of NY, shouting the word VAGINA? Apparently, I was also gyrating and making lewd gestures…humiliating Ashley, the uber-cool Manhattanite. What are relatives for?

So, we are all working our looks…Robin, working the blonde glamazon thing…Ashley, raven haired fiesty-hip pixie…me, the classic Old Whore…went back in the Bowery Hotel lounge area…they have tables with ‘bottle service’…you know, buy a bottle of vodka for $500 and get to hang in the cool area…such a non-Frug-approved thing! 😉 We went back to the side bar for a bit…then, Ash then scoped out a table in the cool area with only 1 or 2 guys at it…they were happy to have us hang but the bouncer types nixed it!  Can you believe it?  Hmph.  And, so we’re hanging out with our $20 drinks and a very nice bouncer guy (not a burly I-will-kick-your-ass type) w/adorable horn rimmed glasses came over…he apologized profusely but asked us to basically get back into the riff-raff room!  (side bar) He did say he would come get out out of the riff-raff room when the hubbub died down a bit…I *know* it was b/c Rob was there, somewhere…there was a bit of a buzz in the air.  Someone said Keifer Sutherland was there too. Did I see him? Of course not.  I am apparently celeb-repellant.  Walked out onto the patio area (where Rob would be hanging out, smoking…and making it look sexy and cool somehow…le sigh)…didn’t see him…such a TEASE. The media I was reading later gave conflicting reports. Some said he was there later (we stayed til 1:03am) and some said he was on the upper west side, with Kristen Stewart…Regardless…I *know* he and I were hanging out at the Bowery, separate, yet still together in spirit! 😉

So, during my stalking time, there were some things to keep my mind off of my RPattz-less-ness.  One guy came over w/his buddies…his intro ‘hey, one of the best things about me is that I like to buy girls drinks’…well, okay then! Have at it!  His other line? Something about ‘one of the best things about me is that I’m tall’ Okay. Never bothered to get his name b/c honestly, who cares, kwim?  Robin was busy thinking about ‘Wrench’ and Ash was getting constant texts from her ex-current-future-fiance-stalker-killer.  Which left me to entertain the drink buyers.  Which was fine. I really love being married. I can talk to anyone. No pressure, kwim?  The other guy gave us 3-4 different names.  I resorted to just calling him ‘Pleather’ b/c his jacket was ‘green’ and pleather. Tall guy, just called him ‘Tall’…Tall was a character.  He asked me a question that was so vulgar that it left me speechless.  ME?!  Can you believe it?  I cannot even repeat it here!  Finished up there w/a round of disgusting gingery nasty shots. UGH.  Oh, and when we got back to the hotel, Ashley and I decided hot dogs from a street vendor were a terrific idea. UGH. No hangover for me though.  Maybe that’s a preventative?

So, sadly, despite some decent stalking, no Rob sighting.  And, even if I did see him, he would have been w/KStew, which is cool I suppose.  It did make me come up w/a new mental scenario though…it’s me with Rob…and I am wearing Kristen’s shoes.  Whoregasm.

Picture, me wearing these shoes

Plus ROB. He can keep his Ray Bans on 😉

mmmmmmmmmmmmm

Saturday Night-Stalking, Cocktails, Robert?

So, we did our ‘spa’ thing for hours on Sat. then shopped. My phone died so I wasn’t able to check my celeb crap all day.  Killed me 😉 But, I was pretty sure that Mr. Pattinson was already gone so it was tolerable.  AND, not being able to be reached by the Cling-Ons that I gave birth to was a major bonus.  Anyway, ended up back at the Not Soho and used my new $12 sketchy-bought-from-street-vendor charger.  Checked out radaronline (one of the 72 places I go for up-to-the-minute gossip) and I find out RPATTZ is STILL IN NYC.  Holy crap!  Time for scheming! LOL

We decide on Thai food (lower east side – called Sea I think??)…Not happy w/my outfit sadly. Grey mini dress (cute – Michael Stars bought thru RueLaLa — Bargain baby!) with tights and black shooties (shoe/booties)…it just wasn’t quite right…you know those times when you have things that are fine individually but just won’t work all together?…and since i was so frugal while shopping I had no other options…grumble…hair marginal…face flushed from saunas…eyes bloodshot from last night’s alcohol consumption and lack of sleep. I threw back THREE champagne cocktails (called Strawberry Mojos b/c of the yummy strawberry puree in them!) while dissecting my entree. Over dindin we discussed our potential destinations…I read that RPattz was possibly staying at the Bowery Hotel. They have a fun ‘lounge’ there so we decided to check it out after dinner.  Tried to come up with a code word in case we spotted him.  OHMYGODITSROBERTPATTINSON was really just not going to work, kwim?  Ash and Robin were coming up with terrible code words like ‘Sparkle’ and ‘Vampire’…jesus, may as well just say OHMYGODITSROBERTPATTINSON, kwim?

So, the Bowery Hotel…so cool.  Very cozy, shabby-chic…but British and hunt country too…make any sense? We walked right in…which, from what I have since read, is unusual b/c there are parts of it that are ‘hotel guests only’. Settle in for cocktails in the back bar area. Had my first of THREE champagnes. Only $22/glass, not bad right?! haha  Welcome to Manhattan, bitches!!  Sat in a comfy couch w/the girls and chilled. A Seth Green-looking guy came over to chat us up.  So cute and funny. He was drinking an absinthe cocktail and a coke and carried a Glen-something bottle of scotch. Set for the night, right? He seemed to like Ash and bonded w/her with the acting thing.  But, we dismissed him quickly…not there for the Seth Greens of the world, kwim? After about an hour, we realized my man wasn’t there.  Moved on to the next spot.

The B Bar…right across the street.  Hung out and had a yummy sangria.  Amazingly I was still able to stand up at this point. Moved onto a latte tho…Ash & Robin ordered triple espressos…with butter?  Seriously, the coffee came w/butter. Bartender thought it was white chocolate but she was very very wrong! lol  Quick comment on the bathroom there (after god-knows-how-many-drinks I was in there a number of times!)…it had an Attendant. I HATE that. I am fully capable of getting my own soap…and turning the water on…and getting a paper towel.  And, I don’t want to have to tip someone in the bathroom.  Do not want to linger in there..fumbling w/dollar bills, etc. It’s just uncomfortable.  And, you also don’t want to be the bitch who doesn’t tip…it’s just bad all around.

So, at this point, Robin and I decide we really liked the Bowery Hotel bar and want to go back. Ash thought it was pretentious. (for the record, it sort of was, but I liked it!) My lovely niece thinks going to a drag queen bar would be better. WTF??? Don’t get me wrong, I love drag queens. I have been to the Drag Queen races in DC. Sometimes, with a bad eyebrow dye job, I even LOOK like a drag queen. I am down with them. We manage to veto her (2 against 1 but she is a fiesty domineering bitch sometimes! lol and so so not kidding)…

Cue me semi-stumbling in the street and laughing and talking loudly about Rob.  Like, what would I do if I saw him? What would I say? Would I say anything? What if he really looks like a 23 year old baby?  Like, what if I see him and POOF my panties fly off?  What if I trip and fall and my tongue accidentally goes done his throat?   Don’t recall much more…other than me yelling the word VAGINA and cackling.  Repeatedly.

(have decided to make this into 2 posts b/c it’s gotten impossibly long!)

Sorry!  See Part II in a bit, okay????