Tag Archive | bowery bar

Bowery Hotel – Part 2

So, this is the long awaited PART 2 of Saturday in NYC. ¬†I believe I left off as I was stumbling down the streets of NY, shouting the word VAGINA? Apparently, I was also gyrating and making lewd gestures…humiliating Ashley, the uber-cool Manhattanite. What are relatives for?

So, we are all working our looks…Robin, working the blonde glamazon thing…Ashley, raven haired fiesty-hip pixie…me, the classic Old Whore…went back in the Bowery Hotel lounge area…they have tables with ‘bottle service’…you know, buy a bottle of vodka for $500 and get to hang in the cool area…such a non-Frug-approved thing! ūüėČ We went back to the side bar for a bit…then, Ash then scoped out a table in the cool area with only 1 or 2 guys at it…they were happy to have us hang but the bouncer types nixed it! ¬†Can you believe it? ¬†Hmph. ¬†And, so we’re hanging out with our $20 drinks and a very nice bouncer guy (not a burly I-will-kick-your-ass type) w/adorable horn rimmed glasses came over…he apologized profusely but asked us to basically get back into the riff-raff room! ¬†(side bar) He did say he would come get out out of the riff-raff room when the hubbub died down a bit…I *know* it was b/c Rob was there, somewhere…there was a bit of a buzz in the air. ¬†Someone said Keifer Sutherland was there too. Did I see him? Of course not. ¬†I am apparently celeb-repellant. ¬†Walked out onto the patio area (where Rob would be hanging out, smoking…and making it look sexy and cool somehow…le sigh)…didn’t see him…such a TEASE. The media I was reading later gave conflicting reports. Some said he was there later (we stayed til 1:03am) and some said he was on the upper west side, with Kristen Stewart…Regardless…I *know* he and I were hanging out at the Bowery, separate, yet still together in spirit! ūüėČ

So, during my stalking time, there were some things to keep my mind off of my RPattz-less-ness. ¬†One guy came over w/his buddies…his intro ‘hey, one of the best things about me is that I like to buy girls drinks’…well, okay then! Have at it! ¬†His other line? Something about ‘one of the best things about me is that I’m tall’ Okay. Never bothered to get his name b/c honestly, who cares, kwim? ¬†Robin was busy thinking about ‘Wrench’ and Ash was getting constant texts from her ex-current-future-fiance-stalker-killer. ¬†Which left me to entertain the drink buyers. ¬†Which was fine. I really love being married. I can talk to anyone. No pressure, kwim? ¬†The other guy gave us 3-4 different names. ¬†I resorted to just calling him ‘Pleather’ b/c his jacket was ‘green’ and pleather. Tall guy, just called him ‘Tall’…Tall was a character. ¬†He asked me a question that was so vulgar that it left me speechless. ¬†ME?! ¬†Can you believe it? ¬†I cannot even repeat it here! ¬†Finished up there w/a round of disgusting gingery nasty shots. UGH. ¬†Oh, and when we got back to the hotel, Ashley and I decided hot dogs from a street vendor were a terrific idea. UGH. No hangover for me though. ¬†Maybe that’s a preventative?

So, sadly, despite some decent stalking, no Rob sighting. ¬†And, even if I did see him, he would have been w/KStew, which is cool I suppose. ¬†It did make me come up w/a new mental scenario though…it’s me with Rob…and I am wearing Kristen’s shoes. ¬†Whoregasm.

Picture, me wearing these shoes

Plus ROB. He can keep his Ray Bans on ūüėČ


Saturday Night-Stalking, Cocktails, Robert?

So, we did our ‘spa’ thing for hours on Sat. then shopped. My phone died so I wasn’t able to check my celeb crap all day. ¬†Killed me ūüėČ But, I was pretty sure that Mr. Pattinson was already gone so it was tolerable. ¬†AND, not being able to be reached by the Cling-Ons that I gave birth to was a major bonus. ¬†Anyway, ended up back at the Not Soho and used my new $12 sketchy-bought-from-street-vendor charger. ¬†Checked out radaronline (one of the 72 places I go for up-to-the-minute gossip) and I find out RPATTZ is STILL IN NYC. ¬†Holy crap! ¬†Time for scheming! LOL

We decide on Thai food (lower east side – called Sea I think??)…Not happy w/my outfit sadly. Grey mini dress (cute – Michael Stars bought thru RueLaLa — Bargain baby!) with tights and black shooties (shoe/booties)…it just wasn’t quite right…you know those times when you have things that are fine individually but just won’t work all together?…and since i was so frugal while shopping I had no other options…grumble…hair marginal…face flushed from saunas…eyes bloodshot from last night’s alcohol consumption and lack of sleep. I threw back THREE champagne cocktails (called Strawberry Mojos b/c of the yummy strawberry puree in them!) while dissecting my entree. Over dindin we discussed our potential destinations…I read that RPattz was possibly staying at the Bowery Hotel. They have a fun ‘lounge’ there so we decided to check it out after dinner. ¬†Tried to come up with a code word in case we spotted him. ¬†OHMYGODITSROBERTPATTINSON was really just not going to work, kwim? ¬†Ash and Robin were coming up with terrible code words like ‘Sparkle’ and ‘Vampire’…jesus, may as well just say OHMYGODITSROBERTPATTINSON, kwim?

So, the Bowery Hotel…so cool. ¬†Very cozy, shabby-chic…but British and hunt country too…make any sense? We walked right in…which, from what I have since read, is unusual b/c there are parts of it that are ‘hotel guests only’. Settle in for cocktails in the back bar area. Had my first of THREE champagnes. Only $22/glass, not bad right?! haha ¬†Welcome to Manhattan, bitches!! ¬†Sat in a comfy couch w/the girls and chilled. A Seth Green-looking guy came over to chat us up. ¬†So cute and funny. He was drinking an absinthe cocktail and a coke and carried a Glen-something bottle of scotch. Set for the night, right? He seemed to like Ash and bonded w/her with the acting thing. ¬†But, we dismissed him quickly…not there for the Seth Greens of the world, kwim? After about an hour, we realized my man wasn’t there. ¬†Moved on to the next spot.

The B Bar…right across the street. ¬†Hung out and had a yummy sangria. ¬†Amazingly I was still able to stand up at this point. Moved onto a latte tho…Ash & Robin ordered triple espressos…with butter? ¬†Seriously, the coffee came w/butter. Bartender thought it was white chocolate but she was very very wrong! lol ¬†Quick comment on the bathroom there (after god-knows-how-many-drinks I was in there a number of times!)…it had an Attendant. I HATE that. I am fully capable of getting my own soap…and turning the water on…and getting a paper towel. ¬†And, I don’t want to have to tip someone in the bathroom. ¬†Do not want to linger in there..fumbling w/dollar bills, etc. It’s just uncomfortable. ¬†And, you also don’t want to be the bitch who doesn’t tip…it’s just bad all around.

So, at this point, Robin and I decide we really liked the Bowery Hotel bar and want to go back. Ash thought it was pretentious. (for the record, it sort of was, but I liked it!) My lovely niece thinks going to a drag queen bar would be better. WTF??? Don’t get me wrong, I love drag queens. I have been to the Drag Queen races in DC. Sometimes, with a bad eyebrow dye job, I even LOOK like a drag queen. I am down with them. We manage to veto her (2 against 1 but she is a fiesty domineering bitch sometimes! lol and so so not kidding)…

Cue me semi-stumbling in the street and laughing and talking loudly about Rob. ¬†Like, what would I do if I saw him? What would I say? Would I say anything? What if he really looks like a 23 year old baby? ¬†Like, what if I see him and POOF my panties fly off? ¬†What if I trip and fall and my tongue accidentally goes done his throat? ¬† Don’t recall much more…other than me yelling the word VAGINA and cackling. ¬†Repeatedly.

(have decided to make this into 2 posts b/c it’s gotten impossibly long!)

Sorry!  See Part II in a bit, okay????