Happy Anniversary to ME.

Well, it’s been 6 years of this blog. SIX. I think I celebrated the anniversary by doing a few loads of laundry and picking up dog shit in the yard.

Seriously, I feel like my day-to-day life is more boring now than it was when all I was doing was changing diapers and praying for a good night’s sleep.

And what is sleep? Between the stupid perimenopause (which can last 10 years! Yahoo!) and the Frug’s snoring and my general anxiety (Will I die tonight? Or will I die in a plane crash? Or plummeting off the side of the Bay Bridge?)  and specific anxiety (Did I remember to turn off the gas on the stove? Do I hear the dog puking in his crate? Where is Sarcasmo? When is he coming home? Is he even alive?) and the super-fun aches and pains of being an old lady…there is NO SLEEP. I used to be the Queen of Sleep. Now I lie there THINKING until I pass out…and then wake up with both arms DEAD and my lower back in spasm. Sigh. Get back to sleep and then wake up SWEATING. The Frug has the thermostat set to INFERNO over night b/c why would we need a/c while we sleep??? #killkillkill  I also have to sleep in a position that accommodates Fiona b/c she is so sweet and I love her and she needs to be happy.

And the nights when Sarcasmo is “chilling with his bros” I’ve taken to keeping my phone in bed with me, which is a huge sleep hygiene no-no. I check to see if he’s texted me. I check to see if I’ve gotten an alert from the teen driver thingy. Those are fun. “Hard Braking Event Detected.” “Fast Acceleration Event Detected.” “Overspeed Event.” And my favorite “Unauthorized Driving Period Event.” That’s when he is driving past midnight.  If I haven’t heard from him, I check Twitter for police and traffic reports. What do I think I’m going to find???? Who knows.

How do parents live through these teenage years??? And it would be different if he was happy and nice and loved us. Nope. We are assholes. Us! Me and the Frug!! Assholes?? Come on! We’re the best! I may blog more about my assholishness…lol


Well, at least the cat loves me. Maybe. One can never really be sure of that.

2 thoughts on “Happy Anniversary to ME.

  1. WTF?! You have a blog and I had to sign up for twitter years too late to finally learn this?! Geez…now I have freaking 6 years of blog reading to do. And the Frug leaves the house at inferno temps at night in the summer? #hellonearth

  2. Wow. 6 years is quite the milestone! Very sorry to hear about your sleep issue. Being the mother of a teenager is a ridiculously challenging thing. How they grow up and survive without us killing them is a complete miracle. Hang in there- some day (God willing), they will have teenagers of their own!!!!

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