I don’t know what to call it, but I had one. You know how I go on about my appearance? My weight? Everything? Well, recently I was bitching about gaining a few lbs over the Snowpocalypse…a friend was saying stuff like ‘STFU, you look great’ and I was thinking ‘well, I used to be so small’…’I Used To Be A Cheerleader, for God’s sake’…and that’s when it hit me…When? WHEN was that??? When was I a cheerleader??? The answer hit me like a ton of bricks. 22 years ago. TWENTY TWO YEARS AGO. 22!
That’s a long ass time ago. A lifetime. Why should I look like I did 22 years ago (and truth be told, other than having a young, tight 22 year old cheerleader’s body, the rest of me was a mess of fried home-dyed-home-permed hair (a pretty greenish orange!) and orange tanning salon skin, clad in acid washed ankle zipped Guess jeans and big-ass shoulder padded shirts!!)…I certainly wouldn’t want to be who I was back then either…a quivering mass of zero self esteem, no goals, no direction in life…wouldn’t want those days back again AT ALL…sure would like that body tho. 😉 Harrumph. But, why not face reality, right? A lot has happened in 22 years…2 kids and a shitload of A-G-I-N-G. *sighs*
I don’t want to be the woman who gives up though, right?? Can’t give up on it. If I gave up then I would be wearing my mom’s old elastic waist pants and polo shirts and have my gray hair cut into a mom pixie cut (wash-n-wear! *shudder*)…there’a gotta be a way to still want to be fit and look good without still being haunted by the ‘Glory Days’ and comparing what you look like TODAY versus what you looked like 22 years ago.
Gotta find BALANCE. Hmmm. But how?