Archive | May 2015

Mother’s Day, Schmother’s Day.

Mother’s Day. Blah.

Mother’s Day, for years, is not about you, it’s about your mother. Doesn’t matter if you have children of your own. As long as your mom is alive, it’s about her.  Then you get married and it’s about his mother. It’s about all the old ladies. You think to yourself “Someday! Someday it will be about me!” Until that day, it’s suffering through long drives to bring flowers to the old ladies and “enjoying” brunch in a hotel ballroom with 300 strangers. lol Or spending double to send flowers since you aren’t organized enough to remember to order them early!

Well, we have managed to kill off all the old ladies in our family, every last one of them.  I guess it’s finally about me  It’s about me, me, me. And, surprisingly, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be! I don’t know if I want anything to be about me anymore. Look away! Let me sleep in. Let me sleep in peace. I shall do NO CHORES. I shall be responsible for no one and nothing. I will not feed the dog. I will not do laundry. I refuse to unload or reload the dishwasher. I will make meals for NO ONE. This day of selfish sloth is to be capped off with dinner out. Dinner cooked and served by someone else.

I know that some people have the tradition of the children bringing their mother breakfast in bed. I’ve never wanted that. Crumbs everywhere, spilled orange juice, plus all the damn noise in the kitchen with the children messing things up and burning your damn toast.  For years our tradition was that the Frug would take the kids out to McDonald’s and have their “big breakfast.”  I got to sleep in the peace and quiet of an empty home and wake up to a glorious fountain Diet Coke. McDonald’s fountain Diet Coke and its bubbly perfection. That is Mother’s Day.

Today I think I’m going to go take a long walk and think about my mom and all the old ladies who are gone. I miss all of them every day.

See? I’m not all bad!

I hope all the women in my life have a special day today.

Natural Look

Doesn’t everyone want that “natural look“?? I want that. No one wants an overly-done look on a daily basis. And I’ve always said I go from zero to tranny (#respect) in a minute. But now that I am so-very-fucking-old, my “natural look” would frighten small children. Think about it — gray hair, wrinkled and sagging and sun damaged skin…UGH…and my brows are graying and sparser…and I’ve noticed my lips have lost color…I’m being erased! aahhhh

Here’s the Goddess Amy Schumer and her no makeup song. lol

Girl You Don’t Need Makeup!

Long Wearing Makeup for Summer!

Nice list of products for summer. I like the sound of the L’Oreal Paris BB facial sunscreen! (drugstore brand = FRUGAL!) I have zero luck with waterproof/water-resistant eye liners so I’ll skip the Smashbox liner BUT I may have to try that Laura Mercier liner — it’s called “copper brown” and I love COPPER with my blue-green-gray eyes!’s Summer Makeup Must-Haves!