Archive | December 2012

Merry Schadenfreudemas

Welp, it’s the new Grumpy Cat! ┬áMaking me so happy in this stressed-filled hellish pre-Christmas rush.

My name is Otis and some douchey bpxer-mix named Roscoe kicked my ass at day care.

My name is Otis and some douchey boxer-mix named Roscoe kicked my ass at day care.

Looking for a Word

You know how certain people love the holidays? Decorating their houses and baking cookies and shopping for gifts with joy in their hearts? I call them Christmas Elves.

Looking for the opposite. Someone who decorates the bare minimum. Curses each cookie baked. Shops with rage in her heart. Christmas cards? Eff that.

I’m starting to become one of whatever-you–call-them. My mother was one. Aunt Sage defines the term.

Put up the ceramic tree. DONE. She’s diabetic so no damn cookies. Shopping? Well, she shops. “Great, a new boyfriend. I guess I have to get him a gift!” “Oh, you’re back in the family? Here’s some money. Buy your own damn gifts and wrap them and bring them with you on Christmas Day.” And thank me.

I envision her has a mix of Grumpy Cat (which would piss her off b/c she loathes cats) and Queen Elizabeth. You know, dressed in perfect old lady clothes with pursed lips and judgey expression on her face.

Name that Christmas Grump. Go!

Xmas Progress

Well, we have.a tree! It’s moved from the sad bucket in the garage into the house in a proper tree stand. It is naked. It shall remain so for now. #lazy

As ever, this was a team effort. Bringing the tree in from the garage required 3 people. *rolls eyes* The Frug makes everything into a 2 person task, minimum. Sigh.

Anyway, I was attempting to make dinner as he struggled with the tree in the stand. Finally, it was straight!

The Frug: “Cow! Where’s the sap protector cloth?”

Me: “What??”

Frug: “You know, the blue circle that goes under the tree to protect the floor from tree sap?”

Me: *puzzled WTF face*

Me: “Oh! You mean the tree skirt??” *eye roll*

“To protect the floor from tree sap?” The hell?! ?!

Next up, the lights and infamous “Christmas Balls”!!