Archive | September 2012

Lewinsky Wrote a Book – FINALLY


Oh yeah. I am ttoooottttaaallllllllllyyyyyyy going to read this book!!  It’ll be a shame-read that I hide on  my iPad but I will read it!!

Here’s a gem from MichaelK on the subject:

I’ve always wondered why Monica Lewinsky hasn’t written a tell-all for millions of dollars. My guess was that she wanted to respect Bill and wanted to distance herself from the whole mess. But fuck that slut Bill with a cigar and fuck distance. How many of us can say that 15 years after we sucked some peen, someone offered us 12 million dollars to talk about sucking said peen?

Hell yes. lol

Can anyone say “Christmas Presents”??


Only Took Her 15 Years.

Holy Enormous Rock!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present Mr. and Mrs Ryan Reynolds! Take a gander at that ROCK. Holy crap! How many carats is that?!?!?!

RR does nothing for me. He’s got a nice body but I think his face is just meh. Blake is pretty, voluptuous…and seems so ditzy and dull. Maybe they’ll be perfect for each other?  *laughs* Please, it’s Hollywood. I give it 2-3 years max.


Pam Anderson Does the Splits

Hoe My God!  Girlfriend is still flexible about all these years! Whoa. My man Michael K mentioned something about how difficult it must have been to dislodge her “suction cup coochie” from that table. Been giggling to myself f

Pam Anderson Does the Splits of the Day – DrunkenStepfather – Celebrity Gossip, Hot Girls, Comedy, Good Times… – DrunkenStepfather – Celebrity Gossip, Hot Girls, Comedy, Good Times….

Okay, Jess…Better…

FINALLY seeing some progress from Ms Simpson.  Here she is at LAX, flying off to be interviewed by Katie Couric (New show for Katie!! And I hear the elusive E L James is going to be on soon too!)…anyway, looking much improved…big smile on her face…huge mane of gorgeous-yet-always-pageant hair…her thighs are looking much slimmer…which made me wonder if Spanx is making leggings these days…they totally should, right?!

Anyway, here’s a gem from my Michael K:

…Weight Watchers will mummify her in Spanx, wrap her in a full-body girdle, cover the girdle with plastic wrap and then vacuum seal her so tight that she’ll have to learn how to breathe through her ear holes. During Katie’s show, a translator who is fluent in Morse code through blinks will stand next to Jessica, because she’ll be sucked in so tight that she won’t be able to move her mouth so she’ll have to communicate by blinking.”

I love him so.

What A Big Ass Bag.

God Help Me. It’s Happening Again.

You know how I mock something and then wait a bit and suddenly I find myself liking it? (like skinny jeans, for example!)  Welp, I’m worried about this…I’m starting to not hate wedge sneakers. *shrieks* I do NOT want to like these. They’re weird and puffy and wrong. But, let’s look at these Marc Jacobs ones…

And similar ones from Steve Madden:

And *whispers* these are terrible but I can’t look away…

I’m always in a quandary in the fall…I need a casual shoe to fill the “can’t wear flip-flops anymore and yet it’s not boot weather yet” void.  And we all know how I feel about “cute flats“…I must have a heel of some sort to elongate the stumps.

There’s something about them that’s very 80s. They remind me of the classic white Reebok high tops…which I discovered 5 seconds ago that they still make them and you can still buy them!  Whoa. TINA!!!

HELP ME!  Tell me how hideous and just plain wrong wedge sneakers are. But read this post from The Glamazons first… They make them seem almost practical! lol


Jessica Simpson is a Dumbass B*tch

Sorry to be blunt but c’mon!!  She says she didn’t realize that all the weight didn’t come off when you had the baby. WHAT?!  Just how stupid is she???????   You start off at 130, end up at what looked to be 200, and your baby weighed 10 lbs. Hmm, I’m not a math person but there’s a good 60 lbs unaccounted for there. Probably more b/c she is a liar too! lol

Enjoy the pic of Jessica’s epic EPIC rack. You could just pop those bad boys with a pin and milk would explode outta them!  Impressive.

Here’s a snippet of Michael K’s golden words about Jess just being a regular girl trying to lose the baby weight:

“I’m just your everyday woman…” Heffa, shut your mouth on a loaf of Weight Watchers banana bread, because you ain’t an everyday woman. As far as I know, everyday women aren’t paid millions of dollars to lose weight and don’t have an unemployed husband who can take care of the baby while she walks in place as her private chef makes her lunch. Bitch can call herself an average woman when I see her doing crunches in her cubicle before eating a lunch of broccoli slop that she tried to steam in the break room microwave.

Chestica’s Chichis Kept Her From Jogging.

Am Going to Hell (again)

US Weekly has pics of Jennie Garth, post split with PFach, in a yellow bikini. Click to read.

Everyone knows I love Jennie. I LOVED Kelli Taylor on 90210 and hated the evil Brenda…as anyone with half a brain would. *arches brow*  ANYWAY, much has been written these days about Jennie’s post divorce slim down. I think she looks good. And most people lose weight when they have a bad break-up, right??

So, here’s the first pic:

She needs a smaller bikini bottom. That baggy look is not attractive. (makes me think back to Nicole Ritchie in a baggy bikini — remember??) I thought that  her belly button had a tummy tuck look to it. It’s just a little off, right??

Welp, check out photo #2:

Def. not a tummy tuck with that saggy skin!!  Weeee!  As much as I like her, seeing that skin hanging down makes me a happy bitch.

*sizzles in hell*

This Made Me HOWL

OMG! *cackling* Please take a gander at this list of “search engine terms” used to access my blog.

Can’t decide which one is my favorite. “Famous Whores” is def. top 3 tho. LOL


Need Deep Thoughts on BB Creams

BB creams (Beauty Balm) are everywhere. What do we think of them?? I’ve tried the Garnier one. It’s “fine.”  Like a glorified tinted moisturizer. It’s def.more moisturizing than my fave Bobbi Brown tinted moisturizer though.. But all the claims I see about “radiance” and “dark spot reduction” and “fine line smoothing”?? Nada.. Frankly, even in the ads, I see little difference between the before and after shots.

Of course, since I’m just using a drugstore brand *glares at the Frug*, I do wonder if the department store BB creams are better. Has anyone tried the Bobbi Brown one? (I guess that would be the BBBB cream? lmao)

Maybe I just don’t see results from topical stuff like this b/c my skim is too old and too far gone. *sighs* Def. need a good sand blasting and/or chemical peel soon.

Has anyone tried one of these and loved it? If so, gimme!! Or, should I stick to a separate moisturizer and “foundation”??


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