Archive | April 2012

Aptly Named

Well, the Fail Wagon has officially lived up to it’s name. Brought the 2 year old car into the shop for the annual inspection.  And it FAILED. What? How is that even possible??

Tires. Someone never had them rotated. Ever. Who is that someone? *taps chin*

I have 15 days to get new tires on the beast and go in for a re-inspection. Until then, I have the Pink Stick of Shame on my windshield…Behold…


Oh, and guess how much 4 new tires will set the poor Frug back?  Close to $1,000!!!! Do you have any idea how much grooming that could have gotten me?!?!  What a waste!  *grumbles*


Wal-Mart has Great Value.

Target has Archer Farms.

Kmart has Smart Sense.

Walgreens has…Nice!


What kind of name is that???  It’s Nice with an exclamation point. Nice! Seems sarcastic to me. (maybe that’s just me? haha)  Or like in Borat’s voice…”Very Nice!”

Saw these and smiled:

Saw these and snickered:

C’mon!  Nice Nuts?!?  How’s a girl supposed to keep a straight face!?!?!

Best Laid Plans

(this happened a few weeks ago but I’ve been too busy and lazy — yes, that IS possible — to write about it)

Learned some life lessons the other day.  The first one was “Do not schedule a “Kelly Day” in advance.” That just gives the universe time to plan some shizz to mess with said Kelly Day.  It wasn’t even going to be a wild Kelly Day. Just some “fun” errands, maybe some recreational shopping and that’s about it.  My time though. Not the Frug’s. Not Otis’s. MINE. Kelly Time. *sighs* Anyway, I’d just dropped 10 off at school, unloaded the dishwasher (which was obviously not aware of it being a Kelly Day *rolls eyes*) when I see that Sarcasmo’s school is calling. FML. I never answer the phone. Hate the phone. But, when I see that it’s the school, I know it’s the nurse.  *sighs*

Yes, it was the school nurse calling to tell me that Sarcsmo had a cut on his finger. A cut that was apparently bleeding profusely.  Of course, I come to find out that he was goofing around with one of his friends.  Playing with scissors. *sighs*  By the time I posted the incident on my Facebook, I’d “upgraded” the incident to a stabbing. Made a much better story that way. Right?! lol And btw, if I haven’t said this before, it bears saying: Boys are Stupid.

My Kelly Day flies out the window. Instead I have to go grab Sarcasmo from school and take him to the emergency room. Part of me hoped that he didn’t need stitches. The other part, the more dominant and selfish part, thought “That kid better need stitches!” And the verdict from the rather cute doc was “Yes, stitches“…The boy is rather stoic which is good b/c boy oh boy, there’s a lot of blood. The doc reopened the wound to administer the 2 shots of lidocaine. Drip. Drip. Drip. *gags*

So, I’m watching the blood drip while the doc sews. Sarcasmo is watching it too. (Btw, how??  How could he watch?! eep!) And then he says “I can’t feel the stitches. All I can feel is the warmth of the blood dripping down.” *gags* Even the doctor shuddered.  Sarcasmo was like “What? What’s wrong with saying that?” So much was wrong with that statement. Am I right? *shivers*

So, in the midst of all this fun, I get a phone call.  And it’s coming from 10’s school. FML again. It’s his aide, not the nurse TG. She tells me “He’s having a hard day and wants to talk to you”  (HE is having a hard day??) He was having “intersession” which is a 2 week “break” from regular classes. He was taking “Drama” (imagine that) and “Video Game Design“…the day’s trauma and drama was that His Majesty didn’t get the right role in the Drama Class play. He got the role of “Admiral” when he should have been “KING” *rolls eyes*  The Admiral role isn’t the STAR. And doesn’t have the MOST LINES.  And how could this possibly be since he’s obviously a STAR and has a beautiful speaking voice and on and on and on.

So, he’s complaining and complaining and I’m sitting there half-listening and finally I had to interject, “You know what?? I can’t talk to you right now. I’m sitting here in the HOSPITAL with your brother who is BLEEDING and getting STITCHES!” He yells “FINE!” and hangs up the phone violently. Drama Queen. lol.

Sarcasmo is sitting there looking nonplussed. I think the life lesson here for him was this…”Even if you’re bleeding in the hospital, your brother will still find a way to make it all about him.”

EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS – Emma Roberts Leaves Her Chest Enhancements In The Car – Emma Roberts – Photos & Pics

This is exactly the kind of catty nonsense I needed today…Emma Roberts, who annoys the crap out of me for some unknown reason, left her little chicken cutlet boob accessories in her car…and luckily the paps were there to record the moment! *snickers*


EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS – Emma Roberts Leaves Her Chest Enhancements In The Car – Emma Roberts – Photos & Pics.

Things that are WRONG

There are acts that are always wrong…some that are always right…some are questionable.

To follow is an example of WRONG…so very wrong…

Went to Target (my home away from home). Stopped in to use to use the facilities b/c Diet Coke IN equals Diet Coke OUT. The woman in the stall next to me was “dropping some friends off at the pool.” *giggles*  How did I know?  Let’s just say there was grunting…and plopping…*shudders*  Gross, of course, but not wrong.

Then her phone rang. AND SHE ANSWERED IT…and CHATTED.



*screams* WRONG!!!

Chit chatting to a friend while pooping?  While pooping in Target?!?!?!


I’m sure some of us (by “us” I mean “you” and “Not ME”! haha) have been at home and have perhaps used the bathroom, pee only, while still on the phone. Wrong but not terrible.

Talking on the phone in a public restroom while taking a crap is ALWAYS WRONG.