Just FYI…Halloween candy has been purchased. It remains in the UNOPENED bags. So far, so good.
I wrote this a year ago…and I think it still rings true! September is over – BBQs are over…the pools are closed…time to EAT, right? Moo.
The *@$&*@ Halloween candy been out on the store shelves since Labor Day basically. WAY TOO SOON. Oh, and it’s Football Season…let’s eat 7 layer dip on our couches and scream at the TV!!
(and if you go to the games, it’s time for chili dogs and beers!) Next up, after we have eaten 357 bags of candy, is Thanksgiving…and there are the requisite lead-up-to-Tgiving events that require us to bake (and eat) even more pumpkin pie…just as you have digested your turkey and stuffing (what an appropriate word, right?), time to bake Christmas cookies!
Lots of parties aka foodfests to celebrate the birth of Jesus, right?! 😉 Oh, then let’s ring in the New Year w/more food and cocktails…nothing says “New Year” like a hangover and indigestion. January is the Playoffs and the Superbowl gluttonfest, so more beer, more chicken wings, more fat! Valentine’s Day? Bring on the (&$@ candy again! Go out to a ‘special dinner’ and gorge yourselves. Ugh. And, at some point during all of this, the (@&$@ Girl Scout cookies arrive. Damn the Girl Scouts and their delicious Thin Mints and Tagalongs.
Easter? A religious celebration or another excuse to trot out the candy bowl? Grumble. When is it NOT “Eating Season”? The summer? Is it Bikini Season or is it about cookouts, cocktails, crabs, and boardwalk food???
Not sure why I am on this rant today. Maybe it just seems like we’re all doomed to be fatties.
I wonder if all this food is just an American thing?? Is there a Season of Gluttony in other cultures??
Well, I am NOT buying the Halloween candy until 10/31 this year, damnit. I am NOT going to care what the selection is that day or whether it’s a good price. I cannot start off the ‘holiday season’ by buying the Halloween candy early…we all know what happens…let’s open the bag and maybe just have one tiny piece…repeat…repeat until bag is empty…MOO.
Yeah, re-posting this for the 2nd year. Lazy h00r.
OMG, so I *just* blog about saying hell no to the Halloween Candy and head out to Costco. Mistake. (not matter what time you go, it’s a zoo…you buy too much…etc. etc.) As soon as I walk in, there it is. The MOUNTAIN of Halloween Candy. It was piled high, taller than I am! Enormous bags of aalllll the good stuff. And, it spoke to me.
Halloween Candy: KKKKkkkkkkkeeeeeellllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Come over here! Come look at our adorable packaging! We’re here at Costco so we are obviously a ‘good deal’ and ‘Frug-approved’…
Me: F*ck off, candy.
Halloween Candy: C’mon! We love you! We’re here for you, always! You are looking so skinny! Must be those Sketchers Shape-ups you bought…
Me: STFU, candy. I quit you.
Halloween Candy: You can’t quit us! We are in MINI packages! Mini packages can never hurt you! It’s all good! And, dark chocolate is good for you!
Me: *growls* *hisses*
Halloween Candy: You’ve had a hard day, you DESERVE some candy! You’ve done laundry, the dishes, walked the dog…cyber-stalked Robert Pattinson…
Me: Edward Cullen??? Robert??? *dazed look in my eyes*
Halloween Candy: That’s right, come on over here…hold the 100 piece bag in your hands…tthhhaaaatttt’ssssss iiiitttttt…ggggoooooodddd.
Me: You are my personal brand of heroin, chocolatey deliciousness…
People familiar with this blog (and in RL) know I have “food issues” to put it mildly. One of my biggest things is my Fear of Condiments. *shudders*
Cold, wet, weird “flavors” that mess with the purity of your burger, fries, etc. WHY? Anyway, I have branched out in the past few years. I will dip the teeniest corner of my chip into salsa. Perhaps 1/90th of the chip gets daintily dipped into the salsa. There is never, ever scooping. *shudders* The poor chip would get soggy AND I would run the risk of biting into a TOMATO! *gags*
Excuse me while I take a sip of DC to cleanse my palate of that!
Okay, where was I?
Ah yes. Food.
So, I have recommitted myself to the low-carbish, no white flour, no white sugar diet. This is in response to my rather spectacular double twisting back flip off the Diet Wagon during PMS week 😉 *cut eyes Trader Joe’s Chocolate Covered Potato Chips*
So, I’m bored with my scrambled egg breakfast. And, today I made the HUGE decision to try salsa in my eggs today! I know! Crazy!! (this is ME people–this is a Big Deal)
I, naturally, did this in a Kelly Way. I scrambled the eggs and cooked them in the pan…then scooted them to the side. I added a very generous half teaspoon of salsa *grins* to the empty side of the pan. Wanted it to be WARM before it touched my precious eggs! *giggles* Then, mixed it together thoroughly so there wouldn’t be a huge clump of tomato or any other yucky thing to scare me.
OMG. It was GOOD! No cold spots. No icky tomato chunks or tomato taste! Just some spiciness to jazz up my eggs! Win!
Well, the Frug is out of town for the night. The chillens are asleep. And I have a brand new pot of hard wax to play with. *cue ominous music*
Am writing this in the bathroom, locked away from almost all the prying eyes. Fiona came in, took one look at the melting wax and gave me the patented feline *recoil* and the WTF look and RAN. Smart kitty.
I’ve just finished my chin and *giggles* knuckles…am heading south. Alert the media.
“Virginia Woman Skins Herself Alive in BIZARRE Waxing Accident“