Archive | July 2010

Are you fekkin’ kidding me?

Gee. I was joking about getting thrown out of this hotel…maybe they read my post? We were here and asleep by 10pm last night. Up today at 7:30am and,after a particularly horrifying breakfast, we were gone until around 3:30ish. I was at the postage stamp pool w/the kids and the Frug went up to the room to get something aka “drop some friends off at the pool *winks*…he comes back to the pool and tells me that there was a letter for us in the room…he wouldn’t tell me what it said. Well, I went right upstairs to check it out.

Omg! It read:

“Dear Mr. and Mrs. Superficial,

We have received reports of “disturbing noise” coming from the 3rd floor. (t’s a B&B so there are only 2 rooms on the 3rd floor)

We ask all to be considerate of other guests at the inn.

Asshat Management

I am livid! We’ve barely been in the room! And, believe me, I know what “disturbing noise” sounds like *coughs* and this is not even close! Perhaps the squeaky floorboards in the 200 yr old building? I don’t know. The kids have been very good (other than that brief incident yesterday)…

The Frug thinks it’s funny. It is not.



Am trapped in a tiny room (bed &.breakfast–used to call it a “sex and breakfast but the kids are with us so it’s merely “bed”)…the frug is stinking up the joint, 8 is whining and 11 opened the window that has the air conditioning unit and it’s hanging halfway out the window. And now one of the hooligans spilled a &@/$: soda all over the floor. We’re going to get thrown out of here.

I haven’t been kicked out of a hotel since um…last Saturday *blushes*

Quick Bday Shout Out!

It’s the Frug’s bday!  Please join me in wishing him Happy age deleted Birthday!

In honor of this occasion, please refrain from spending money on superficial crap! Do not go to Target! Stay away from Nordie’s big sale!  No, you do NOT need those new fab shoes!  No manicure/pedicure!  Back away from the make-up counter…

Wait. Crap. I guess those restrictions are only for me.  *sighs*

Okay, update. YOU!  YOU!  Please go spend money frivolously in my stead! Have a massage! You deserve it!  Those shoes make you look tall and skinny!  Buy ’em! Don’t you need a few things from Target??!  Of course you do!  Go on!  Shop!   Do it for me!

Must be those damn neighborhood kids…

Just a quick little note–insane couple of days here (can you hear my liver crying?) and I will be detailing my debauchery for your amusement soon…

Btw, Tina? This one’s for you!  Actually, for Michele too…she was the first person to tell me that one must blame the neighborhood kids for anything awful the children do, things *I* could never possibly have taught them…

At the pool the other day…more annoying people and their indisciplined hooligan children *growls* One liitle urchin was screaming for his brother, over and over “Thomas!” “THOMAS!!!!!”

8 was watching the screeching urchin curiously.

8 — “Mom? What is he saying?”

Me — “Thomas”

8 — “Oh, I thought he was saying ‘dumbass'”

Me — *stunned silence*

Damn neighborhood kids saying such a thing in front of my angel! *winks*

New Nail Polish Shade

Oh boy. Exciting topic this morning, eh? lol  I wore tons of dark polish last winter…Lincoln Park After Dark, Siberian Nights, I’m With Brad (opaque metallic wine over dark coffee), etc. I liked it on my nails as well as on the toes. Felt ‘chic’. Well, as chic as *I* ever can be 😉 In the summer, I usually wear a bright pink like La Paz-itively Hot, which has been my summer fave for YEARS:But, the bright pink…just not feeling it this summer…too perky and cute…not black like my soul (haha)…so, have been experimenting. Didn’t want a super dark polish…I tried You Don’t Know Jacques (and I snickered and added the unsaid ‘Sheet” which goes with You Don’t Know Jacques Sheet, right?) which is a darker taupey color…not quite right.  

Yesterday I got the hooves taken care of (but not the claws b/c the freaking face waxing took too long – again, Mom? Thanks for the furry genes)…chose Metro Chic (exclusively at Sephora aka Mecca)
It’s described as an “opaque dark smoke with a hint of purple”…it’s kinda perfect. It’s a deep shade but not DARK if that makes sense…and it’s NOT perky in any way.  More of a morbid shade?  Does that makes sense?  Thoughts?

On me, it’s not as gray as it appears in this pic. It’s got more of a purpley lilac thing going on next to my freckled Irish hide. (I won’t be photographing my horrible sausage toes for ya…You’re Welcome!)

Lindsay’s New Lawyer: She’s Going to Jail

So, Princess Trainwreck is going to jail…this Tuesday.  Hope and I were texting a week or so ago saying that Linds is definitely going to meet someone in jail…and perhaps there’ll be a sex tape! Here’s hoping!  She’s been having money problems (what with snorting or shooting up all her earnings from when she had a career)…I think all those problems could go away if she sold a video like “Lindsay Lohan’s Lesbian Orgy in Jail”, right?  Pervy freaks would LOVE that (sick bastards)…

Lindsay’s New Lawyer: She’s Going to Jail.

I swear, the hair is WINNING!

and what I mean is I am losing the Battle of the Body Hair…F*ck me!  Just did the bi weekly brow-chin-‘stache waxing. The poor woman probably needs PT after how hard she had to work, spreading that wax, applying the cloth strips and repeatedly RIPPING it off…and it seemed like it was never going to be over. I have these stubborn blonde SPIKES of hair (esp. on the chin – thanks Mom) and they will not submit to the waxing…so then it’s more plucking…and she missed some patches of blondes so I had to have her go back and do more…jawline, ‘sideburns’, etc. *growls*

I would love it if I could just dip my whole body in hot wax and have ALL of the hideous hairs yanked out at one time. *sighs*