Tag Archive | superficial

50 Things

I’M ALLLLLLIIIIIIIVVVVEEEEE!!!

I survived going to a “Minimalism Event.” Dear God, did I even just type that?? aahh It wasgood” and “interesting“…in a horrifying way, kwim? Like going to a Scientology event or something. The Frug stood transfixed with a small smile and glazed eyes. #creepy I wore a sparkly skirt and multiple necklaces and strappy wedge heels and used 1729 make-up products, just to be a dick.

Anyway, going to that reminded me of some of the other kooks the Frug follows…

…Like this guy who writes “Exile Lifestyle“…one of his “things” is that he only owns X # of things. The last time he posted it was 55 things. He owns only 55 things. *lets that settle in*  This is down from the apparently repulsive 72 things he owned in 2009.Screen Shot 2014-05-29 at 8.34.07 PM

^^^Like, I could find more than that on the floor in my room or stuffed into the crevices of the Fail Wagon, kwim?? COME ON!

I took a quick tally of what I “owned” or used this morning (clothing, makeup, items used) and here’s where I was, as of 8am:

  1. Contact lenses
  2. Bra
  3. Undies
  4. Shorts
  5. Shirt
  6. Sweater
  7. Shoes
  8. Sunglasses
  9. Earrings
  10. Wedding band
  11. Engagement ring
  12. Purse
  13. Antiperspirant
  14. Toothbrush
  15. Toothpaste
  16. Floss
  17. Contact lens solution
  18. Contact lens case
  19. Glasses
  20. Mascara
  21. Eye Liner
  22. Lip gloss
  23. Lotion
  24. BB cream
  25. Ponytail holder (I have at least 50 of these…somewhere)
  26. iphone
  27. ipad
  28. Car (!)

I’m at 28 before 8am. Some of these can be combined like contacts/solution/case but still. I’m not upset about this list. It just is. I cannot imagine only having even 100 things. They don’t define me but many of them are NECESSARY. The thought of being limited to X number of things makes me queasy.

I have to say, this guy did inspire me to make clever collections and post pix on Tumblr. Like “My 43 Eye Shadows in Nearly Identical Shades of Brown” or “My 17 Favorite Mascaras” or “My 27 Black Tops”…

So, in that sense, I would have to say that going to see The Minimalists was truly inspiring. *cackles*

Fall 2013 Tour de Vapid

12:  “Hey Mom!  What did you do in New York?

Me:  “Oh, drank some prosecco, got my nails done, went to a really cool Sephora…

12:  *blank stare*

It was FUN, I swear!

Soooo *bouncy claps* I got my skin analyzed to find THE PERFECT FOUNDATION!

Have you seen the ads?

Sephora-Pantone

How cool does that look?!?!?!

Went to the Sephora in the Meatpacking District. Sadly, there is no Potato District, which would have been appropriate given my skintone AND my love of the potato, right? Found a lovely young man to use the skin IQ thingy on us. He “analyzed” a patch of skin on my forehead, cheek, and neck. It was processed and gave me an ID number of IY06.

Oh, before the Frug freaks, THIS WAS FREE. And there is no obligation to buy anything. Seriously.

That ID number can be entered in store, or on their website, to get a comprehensive list of foundations, tinted moisturizers, etc. geared to MY EXACT SKINTONE. It can be further customized by indicating “lighter” or “darker” for seasonal skin changes or desires, kwim? It’s like a little Kelly’s Skin Database. I can go in and further constrain the list by price point (#frugal), coverage, finish, special ingredients, formulations, etc.

This all made my superficial heart go pitter patter.

I just went online and searched for a medium coverage, radiant finish, liquid formula…I got a list of 8 possibilities. Prices ranging from $20 -$60. The one I think sounds fantastic is the Dolce and Gabbana Foundation Perfect Luminous Liquid Foundation (shade Creamy 80 is indicated as MY color IQ match)…then again, the Diorskin Nude Skin-Glowing Makeup sounds good too. Although I don’t like the sound of the color selected for me — Peach 023. I am NOT Peach…am I?

Next up, going to get a sample of these…screw the laundry!

Honestly, this whole thing has me tingly. Is that wrong??

lol

REPOST: Apeshit versus Batshit

Interesting title, no?  Was pondering the differences between apeshit and batshit the other day…when doing mindless stuff like dogwalking, the brain tends to wander.  Well, mine does.  I suppose this is another example of why I probably should get a job or something.  But, this blog is called Kelly’s Superficial'”, right?  You don’t come here looking for intellectual dialogue!

Anywho, shit in general has always fascinated me. Size, color, the myriad shapes! And the smell, always the smell. I blame my Baby Alive doll

this doll and my easy bake oven were my all time fav toys!

this doll and my easy bake oven were my all time fav toys!

for starting this. Do you remember that doll?  Feed her green peas, she pooped green!  Feed her peaches, out came peach colored poop!  Amazing! 😉  God help me.  When my children came, it was a whole new world of poop!  All colors of the rainbow!  Massive blowouts!  Woo!  Now, having a dog has really given me more fodder for my poop obsession.  I have the honor of picking up steaming heaps of it daily!  And, since it is coming out of a 105 lb. beast who eats garbage off the streets, in addition to his 3 aquare meals a day and whatever he can steal off the kids’ plates…well, you can imagine the heavenly sh*t I have encountered over the past couple of years!

Back to ape & bat shit. And, I am thinking purely in colloquial terms here.  I think of apeshit as being really angry, crazy like an ape, beating your chest, grunting, howling, apeshit!  Example:  “The Frug is going to go APESHIT when the AmEx bill arrives!”

Now, batshit seems to always be batshit crazy.  Why is that? Did some digging (again, time on my hands!) and it appears to have to do with actual batshit (guano – what a great word!!!) making people crazy!  Found this tidbit:

Bat guano collecting in caves invites parasites. Some of the parasites can cause health problems in humans. Or least strange behavior (like a flea infestation) in some humans. I think there used to be rumor about breathing in parasites from bat and/or bird droppings and the parasites then eating in to your brain causing erratic behaviour.

Back in Sept., we went up to a friend’s farm up in PA. They had this enormous barn/stable. Super high ceilings. It has been used for small concerts/festivals, etc. b/c it is that big.  I was trying to avoid the horses (see List of Things Kelly is Afraid of) so I didn’t notice the weird screeching noises.  What I did notice were the little brown nuggets on the ground…made a loud crackling/crunching sound when you stepped on them (and there was so much of it, you *had* to step on it)…I asked our hostess about them…her reply? “oh, it’s just bat guano”  W.T.F.?? I then realized that *IF* I looked up (which I refused to do!!), I would have seen the hundreds (literally) of BATS in the rafters. holyf*chkingshitbatsOMGvomitdie I didn’t know where to look or where to go without stepping in more freaking GUANO. You know what? I was going BATSHIT crazy!!  😉

For further info and “real” definitions, see apeshit and batshit