Tag Archive | new moon

To Jort or not to Jort

According to the Urban Dictionary, jorts are:

“worn mostly by children and douchebags”…”often worn by the fashion illiterate” and “Possibly the ugliest article of clothing one can wear”…”Usually worn by people who do not have friends, because a true friend would tell you that you look like a faggot.”

Yikes.

The question is, are jorts only that awful if they’re worn by men?  Because I think they’re kind of cute for women…the right wash, the right length, etc., of course. Am I wrong???

Wondering if jorts have been completely ruined by Jacob and his lupine friends in New Moon?  Sort of like how Jon Gosselin ruined the Ed Hardy brand simply by being photographed wearing it??

Douche Wear...

(seriously, google “Jon Gosselin, Ed Hardy and douche” — I got 450,000 results!)  Here’s one article about how he’s ruined that brand…

So, thoughts on jorts?? ‘Cause I’m thinking about maybe getting a cute pair of boyfriend jorts…stop me if this is going to be yet another fashion disaster for me…

Yes, I am back…

…and real life is kicking my ass right now. Perhaps more on that later.

So, Girls Weekend. A-m-a-z-i-n-g. TLCMcR has the cutest place in Virginia Wine Country! I plan on staying there if/when there’s some sort of 24-esque attack on DC…packing the family into the Commander and off we go to hike the Shenandoah Mountains!

We had plans to do old school home facials, mani/pedis, hair treatments…instead we lounged on her fab porch, listening to the sounds of the river flowing by, and just chatted, relaxed, drank wine.  Perfect. Seriously perfect.

HIKED on Sat. morning.  Out in NATURE! I know! How not-Kelly is that?  I wish there had been other people around to enjoy the sound of the bear bells I wore and to hear the air horn I was honking. Because there are BEARS out there. BEARS!  The girls were mocking me, silently. I honked the air horn whenever I sensed the mockery reaching a fever pitch. B*tches. lol

Went to a winery on Sat. afternoon.  Can you believe they didn’t have pink wine?  I refrained from yelling ‘where the f*ck is the white zin?’ lol  Learned that TANNIN is my enemy…I can’t stand the way it makes my tongue feel like Spongebob when all the water is sucked out of him.  Sat. nite was dindin at a cute place in-town where I managed NOT to embarrass us…I didn’t even yell ‘Vagina’ or anything! The highlight of the night (for me) was getting New Moon On Demand!  (my Target order – 3 discs woot! – came while I was away)  Poor KPR hasn’t read any of the Twilight books (and yes, I still speak to her) and the other ladies were (this pains me) Team Dog. But I had enough vino at that point to ignore their squeals of excitement over Taylor Lautner’s abs! lol

Came home on Sunday to a scene that was Oliver Twist Meets The Hangover. The Frug went to a bachelor party Sat. nite. Apparently, it was epic. Bunch of 40+++ somethings partying like college boys – wish I would’ve been a fly on the wall. lol So, he was looking beat, stretched out on the barcalounger. The kids? Looked like they had grown overnight…mismatched clothes…their hair was wild and unkempt…they had bags under their eyes and snot hanging from their noses…Otis was in a heap, giving me the stink eye for abandoning the family.  Fiona was in her basement lair, judging me.  Naturally, the laundry had been boinking like bunnies as had the dishes…

So, back to life…back to reality…back to the here and now…*sing with me!*

A tweet from David Slade

David Slade is the Director of a little upcoming flick called Eclipse!

Cutting like crazy, the film is getting closer working through the weekends again, adding more EDWARD!

I tweeted back, telling him that there is never enough Edward & to add MORE.

‘Cause Slade and I are tight like that.

And, here’s a little pic of my man, Robert Pattinson. It’s a leak from an upcoming Details magazine article. Apparently, he will be surrounded by lucky bitches models, mostly naked…the models, not Robert, sadly…Speaking of sad, I think he looks a bit melancholy here.  Perhaps he misses me?

He looks older too. But in a hot way. As always.

Adventureland, Jesse Eisenberg, … | 10 Best Films of 2009: Owen Gleiberman’s Picks | Photo 1 of 16 | EW.com

Yeah, I have actually seen some of the flicks on this ‘Top 10’ list!

Adventureland.  See this. Very good.  And not just for the view of KStew’s white bikini-clad butt (although the Frug would beg to differ – see it JUST for that! lol he was duly impressed and is now a big fan! of her butt  lol) Seriously a good movie. See it for the 80s fest that it is.  And the Stew is very good…

500 Days of Summer.  Actually made Joseph Gordan-Levitt looks appealing! (I find him very simian-like but he is ADORABLE in this) and Zooey Deschanel is always gorgeous and fresh and all the good things that go with that.  The Frug thought it was another painful rom-com but I liked it.

I Love You, Man.  I love YOU, Paul Rudd.

Want to See:

Up in the Air. Clooney, I still dig your old ass. And I love that you aren’t starring in another love-fest w/your Rat Pack/Ocean’s buddies.  AND, that you are paired with an age-appropriate love interest)…Vera Farmiga…from Leo Di’s The Departed…gorgeous. And, Anna Kendrick (Jessica from Twilight!) is in this AND got great reviews and is nominated for a Golden Globe and a SAG award. OMG! 😉

The Girlfriend Experience.  Looks like slutty goodness.

Can’t See:

Inglorious Basterds. A) the spelling of the word bastErd irritates me. B) Brad Pitt. He irritates me.

Food Inc. I do NOT want to know…I just don’t.

Adventureland, Jesse Eisenberg, … | 10 Best Films of 2009: Owen Gleiberman’s Picks | Photo 1 of 16 | EW.com.

It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Frugmas!

It's Santa Frug!

Ah, Frugmas!  It’s the one time of year that the Frug opens that wallet and semi-willingly buys something for his long-suffering, much adored, loving wife.  However, much like what has happened w/Aunt Sage (more on THAT later), I must basically select said gift(s) and he either clicks the link to buy or must go out and SHOP. LOL  Such pain.  It is part of my Frugmas joy though.  Knowing he is out there, possibly in a MALL, credit card in hand, shaking with fear.  muahaha

So, what is on my list this year?  (other than World Peace, obviously)  Have been searching for a new scent. Other than Eau d’Old Whore naturally.  I tend to hate most fragrances.  I was in a store the other day and some woman’s perfume gave me such a headache, it was like a knife into my eyes. (yes, the scent hurt my eyes somehow – that’s where I get headaches, like right behind my eyes, kwim?)  Anyway, I was a BIG Calvin Klein Obsession gal.  Yeah, I’m an 80’s gal, you knew that!  I wore it well into the 90’s too!  The last perfume I had and loved was Prada. The Frug got it for me a few bdays ago. I actually used the whole bottle (not at one time tho! ha)  The one he got had the old-time squeezey atomizer thing. Reminded me of my mom’s perfumes…  So, anyway, I have been trying out a bunch of scents…I like clean, sort of powdery, not too cloyingly sweet, no vanilla or anything edible…(honestly, why would you want to smell like pumpkin spice, kwim?)  I have decided on another Prada…it’s Prada ‘L’eau Ambree’.  Very pretty.  Although, G tried to destroy it by saying me to ‘Uh, Mom, it kinda smells like Old Lady’  WTH?!  I certainly hope not.  Although, Old LADY just might trump Old WHORE, kwim?! haha I am hopeful that Santa Frug comes thru.  It’s only available in Prada Boutiques and Neiman’s and Nordstrom’s.  All places guaranteed to make him break out in hives.  Again, part of the joy of Frugmas!

Another item on my list is a new black leather jacket. Am thinking of a badass motorcycle style.  B/c I am so badass, you know?!  I have 2 older ones. One has giant shoulder pads.  And, is sort of larger, 80’s style! 😉  Why did we wear oversized stuff??  Did we not realize it made us all look LARGER?!  Hello, common sense!?!  Anyway, I haven’t seen one I love yet.  I need one that is a bit longer than the average one b/c of my freakishly long torso. (am built a bit like Barney Rubble…long torso, short legs. Hot.)  And, I like soft, buttery leather. Many of these jackets are stiff.

yeah, I am really liking her jacket

The Frug liked the jacket January Jones was wearing on the cover of GQ.  Look at the photo.  Do you even SEE a jacket on her?  All I see are her very round, very pretty boobs!  I did look at the magazine to see what kind of jacket it was…it was Dolce and Gabbana and said ‘call for price’…not Frugal at all.  So, not sure if this item will be under the tree.  I couldn’t provide an exact style, direct link to purchase, etc! lol

Another item is a pair of shooties.  I have been obsessing over KStew’s awesome ones from the New Moon tour but, obviously, they are not Frugal. Found these Nine West ones while doing non-selfish shopping (oops, guess it actually WAS selfish – imagine that!)…the style is called Donuvan. They’re cute. Not exactly the ones I wanted but close enough.  They were $99 on sale BUT I also got an additional 30% off!  So so so very Frugal.  These will NOT be under the tree since I decided I had to wear them immediately!  But, I think they ‘count’ as a Christmas pressie!

I think that there is going to be something crazy under the tree though.  The Frug likes LEGGINGS.  Yes, leggings.  How do you think Barney or Fred would look in them?  Hot, right?  Anyway, I *think* he is getting these:

Oh yeah. I am going to look not-small in these. God help me.

What am I going to wear with these?  And WHERE can I wear them?  Certainly not to a function at the kids’ school! LOL  Maybe I should be on the treadmill instead of blogging???  Wish me luck. I am almost positive I will be seeing these.  And no, YOU will not be seeing me in them! lol and not kidding, damnit.

Well, I better log off. It’s a freaking BLIZZARD here.  Perfect time to fold laundry. Wrap presents. Ignore husband, kids, dog, cat. My usual glam life stuff.

Quick Rob Update

You know, I hate to give bad news around the holidays…just seems so wrong.  But, in the interest of honesty, I have to let you know:

I’m breaking up with Robert Pattinson. (okay, maybe we’re just on a break)

I know.

I know this seems like it’s out of the blue.  It feels like I just confessed my little fantasy about me and Rob.  Rob & I are together and I’m wearing KStew’s amazing shoes… but it’s been building up for a month or so now. Started with the New Moon promotions.  He was EVERYWHERE. Couldn’t get away from him. Interviews in magazines, tv, online.  The bloggers were all over him — so many pix, videos, analyzing every hair on his head, every word out of his mouth…He was just in my face all the time. Which you would think I would love…but…it almost gave me the ICK. I guess there is such a thing as ‘too much Rob.’  Sigh.

So, I went to NYC the weekend New Moon came out.  He knew I was there. He could feel the magnetic attraction between us — but, he was playing coy and stayed just out of reach! 😉  Maybe he was just being nice and letting me have a Girls Weekend? 😉  When I got home, the Rob drought began…the holidays kicked into gear…and I realized ‘hey, I haven’t thought about Rob in a while’…haven’t been googling him, haunting the robsessed blogs, nothing.  And, guess what?  I don’t miss him!  I know!

I’m not ruling out a future reconciliation.  After all, he and I go way back (to June ’09 at least)…Remember Me is coming out in March (I think) and Eclipse in June.  There’s hope.  And, there is all the hotness to consider.  Maybe I am just backing off on my Robsession so I can maybe get a sweet Christmas gift from the Frug??  Who knows?

Not sure how Rob will handle this news. I’m glad he has KStew to help him heal from my break-up.  But, one thing…even though I’m not w/Rob now…I still want Kristen’s shoes.  Seriously.