Tag Archive | Katie Couric

Okay, Jess…Better…

FINALLY seeing some progress from Ms Simpson. ┬áHere she is at LAX, flying off to be interviewed by Katie Couric (New show for Katie!! And I hear the elusive E L James is going to be on soon too!)…anyway, looking much improved…big smile on her face…huge mane of gorgeous-yet-always-pageant hair…her thighs are looking much slimmer…which made me wonder if Spanx is making leggings these days…they totally should, right?!

Anyway, here’s a gem from my Michael K:

…Weight Watchers will mummify her in Spanx, wrap her in a full-body girdle, cover the girdle with plastic wrap and then vacuum seal her so tight that she’ll have to learn how to breathe through her ear holes. During Katie’s show, a translator who is fluent in Morse code through blinks will stand next to Jessica, because she’ll be sucked in so tight that she won’t be able to move her mouth so she’ll have to communicate by blinking.”

I love him so.

What A Big Ass Bag.