Tag Archive | illumask

The Quest for Luminosity

Luminosity? Luminousness? What’s the word?  Whatever it is, I am not. I wonder if it’s even possible for a women of a certain age to have luminous skin?? Can one be luminous with wrinkles, freckles, age spots, jowls, etc.? I think not.

Regardless, it’s fall and it’s time to TRY. ‘Tis better to try and fail than just give up, right?? So, I’m attempting an actual “Skincare Routine.”  Blah. Even saying it makes me itchy. I despise routines. I feel suffocated even using the word. Routine. Ugh.

Am using the 4 piece Boot No 7 Lift & Luminate kit from Target. It’s a day serum, day cream (with SPF 15), night serum, night cream, and then I bought an additional eye cream. Easy peasy to use and I had a coupon. #frugal I’ve been semi-diligent about using it day and night. This is definitely a step up from my fall-into-bed-with-makeup-on-and-wakeup-and-not-wash-face routine.

I decided against posting “before and after” pix. Honestly, can anyone ever really see the difference in some of the before/after shots?? I’ve decided to just go with how I feel about it. 2 weeks in?  Not fecking luminous at all. lol The stuff goes on easily, makes my skin feel soft, and smells nice so it’s not a complete waste.

And, since I was already buying snake oil, I bought an Illumask anti-aging device. #shame It’s a light therapy mask which is supposed to increase collagen, reduce fine lines and wrinkles, firm skin…a miracle in a mask for only $30. #frugal

It’s meant to be used daily for 15 minutes at a time for 30 days. There is a countdown timer on it so you know how many uses you have left. (and our friends at youtube have hacks that show you how to get more than 30 uses out of it #frugal) The huge issue I have is…15 minutes is a loooooong time. You can’t see out of the mask so there’s no walking around, no reading, no Facebook. Crime against humanity basically.

Here are my thoughts while using it:

Okay, this is nice and relaxing.

It’s warming up…reminds me of my tanning salon days (le sigh)

Do I have to pee? Dammit.

No, I am not going to pee. I can wait 15 minutes.

Okay, what can I think about now?

What if there’s a robber/rapist just stalking me now while I’m lying here blind?

Nah, Otis would be barking.

Unless he’s dead.

Shit, is any oxygen getting thru the mask?

What if I’m slowly asphyxiating myself? This would be a truly vapid way to go. #shame

Okay, maybe I’ll do some butt clenches.

Meh.

How many minutes have gone by? Eleventy four?

Is that the sound of my heart beating?

Should it be so loud? 

Maybe it’s a sign of high blood pressure? Or impending death.

I do have to pee.

Shit.

Where is the cat? She should be snuggling me now.

15 minutes is an eternity.

Oh, there’s Fiona.

And then the mask goes off.

Such a cat move to wait 14.5 minutes to snuggle. CATS!! Aloof jerks! *shakes fist*

Anyway.

Again, before/after results? Nope. Do I look better? No. Feel better? Nope.

Sigh.