Tag Archive | george clooney

Amy Schumer – Goddess of Truths

Last summer, Ashlee tried to tell me about Amy Schumer. “OMG, you’ll love her!” Meh. Not interested. Until now. She. Is. Amazing. She’s doing these music videos/reg. videos that have me both howling and nodding my head “YES!”  Hard to pick a fave. I may blog about them separately.

Today’s Amy Schumer classic is “Last Fuckable Day“…a group of actresses/comedians are celebrating one’s “Last Fuckable Day” — the last time she is considered “fuckable” in Hollywood. Which is, of course, before 40 generally. And men stay fuckable forever. Even when they are old and grey and wrinkled everywhere. Ahem.  Think about it. George Clooney. Still fuckable at 53 (54 next week, old man!) and yet Madonna (MADONNA!) is gross and unfuckable at 56. She made out with Drake at a concert and he looked like he wanted to throw up. MADONNA IS UNFUCKABLE, people. I mean, who’s next? Is Courteney Cox unfuckable at 50? Jennifer Aniston at 46??

I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. As women, we age and get OLD. Men age and get “distinguished.” Why is that? We try so hard. We certainly try harder than they do. Jerks. We exercise and diet and use pills and potions and injections and surgery and still end up as gross old ladies. WHY WHY WHY? I turned 49 this year and I am definitely looking and feeling every single minute of 49. I read an interview with Candace Bergen. She is GORGEOUS, right? Classically beautiful woman. She said something like “where there used to be interest, there’s now politeness.” Politeness. Yes. I find that I’m getting so many more “ma’ams” than ever. And no man under the age of 60 even glances in my direction. Not that I need to be ogled but I really feel invisible. Just another older lady walking down the street. Avert your eyes.

Anyway.

Here’s Amy!

Last Fuckable Day.

Last Weekend & a Mini Movie Review

Wow, I am so behind. Suddenly, it’s Saturday aka Date Night and I realized I never blogged about last weekend’s Date Night. I know Bob and Fawn just love to be blogged about 😉  Went out to dindin w/Bob and Fawn.  Wore my Winter Uniform of jeans and boots and black turtleneck.  Cute but casual 😉 Had mediocre Italian food and (gasp) drank Prosecco. (it’s a Zin-free establishment, grumble)  Proceeded to the White Trashapoolza bar that the Frug and I love. Guess what?  It’s a White Zin place. Go figure. lol Not sure it was Fawn’s fav place…not fancy enough 😉

Chatted about all kinds of stuff. Ran the whole concept of Happy Endings for Women past Fawn.  Led to some revelations about the DC gay scene (not that there’s anything wrong with that AND not that Bob/Fawn/Frug/I know anything about it personally)…did you know that there are places in DC where a guy can get an anonymous BJ?  Like you go in and stick your peen in a hole and there’s a guy (I guess?) on the other side who takes care of biznaz for you…I have read about stuff like that before but didn’t realize (so naïve I guess) that it’s real, kwim??  Again, as a fairness and equality question…are there places for women like that?  How in the Hell would that even work?  I still think, gay or straight, that women are just wired differently and the concept of sticking your hoohah out for anonymous servicing just wouldn’t work.  Just MHO.

Wow, hell of a tangent I was on there!  Yikes. Oh yeah. The movie.  Up in the Air. Clooney. Vera Farmiga (from The Departed). Anna Kendrick (Jessica from Twilight!). Overall, really liked it. Basic premise is that Clooney is a professional fire-er (one who fires people for companies who don’t want to do it themselves)…he’s on the road most of the year…racking up frequent flier miles and perks…and having no real personal life at all.  Vera is the woman he meets on the road and connects with.  Anna K.  is the new girl who comes up with a system to fire people via video conference, which would effectively ground Clooney…as an intro to the world of Terminations, he and Jessica (sorry, she just IS Jessica – that little bouncy ponytail of hers is an acting method in and of itself) travel around, leaving sobbing just-fired folks in their wake.  He teaches her all about how to fly effectively, which programs to join, how to crash other company’s parties, all the important stuff.

The whole movie gave me flashbacks of my life in the evil corporate world. And NOT in a good way. (Although I do have fond memories of traveling w/friends and using our per diems creatively 😉  )  It wasn’t a typical Clooney smug-smirk-look-at-me-and-my-cool-hip-buddies-like-Brad-Pitt movie. I liked him in this role. Def. playing the aging exec. well. He is appealing to me, still.  No Robert Pattinson OBVIOUSLY though 😉  Jessica is up for a bunch of awards for this role.  She really plays it well (bouncy pony tail acting aside)…she’s sort of naïve, so painfully young, hasn’t lived life enough to get that firing people is personal. Watching her grow-up a bit and get it was very cool.

So, yeah, go see it, if you haven’t already.  Good stuff.  Made me so happy to be RETIRED from all that corporate b/s.  Shudder.

**editing back in…forgot to mention…they showed the  trailer for Remember Me (Robert Pattinson’s upcoming movie)…I had forgotten about it…sat there (mildy tipsy) and purred.  Loudly. Literally. The Frug was mortified.  LOL**

Adventureland, Jesse Eisenberg, … | 10 Best Films of 2009: Owen Gleiberman’s Picks | Photo 1 of 16 | EW.com

Yeah, I have actually seen some of the flicks on this ‘Top 10’ list!

Adventureland.  See this. Very good.  And not just for the view of KStew’s white bikini-clad butt (although the Frug would beg to differ – see it JUST for that! lol he was duly impressed and is now a big fan! of her butt  lol) Seriously a good movie. See it for the 80s fest that it is.  And the Stew is very good…

500 Days of Summer.  Actually made Joseph Gordan-Levitt looks appealing! (I find him very simian-like but he is ADORABLE in this) and Zooey Deschanel is always gorgeous and fresh and all the good things that go with that.  The Frug thought it was another painful rom-com but I liked it.

I Love You, Man.  I love YOU, Paul Rudd.

Want to See:

Up in the Air. Clooney, I still dig your old ass. And I love that you aren’t starring in another love-fest w/your Rat Pack/Ocean’s buddies.  AND, that you are paired with an age-appropriate love interest)…Vera Farmiga…from Leo Di’s The Departed…gorgeous. And, Anna Kendrick (Jessica from Twilight!) is in this AND got great reviews and is nominated for a Golden Globe and a SAG award. OMG! 😉

The Girlfriend Experience.  Looks like slutty goodness.

Can’t See:

Inglorious Basterds. A) the spelling of the word bastErd irritates me. B) Brad Pitt. He irritates me.

Food Inc. I do NOT want to know…I just don’t.

Adventureland, Jesse Eisenberg, … | 10 Best Films of 2009: Owen Gleiberman’s Picks | Photo 1 of 16 | EW.com.

Celebrities Who May Be Selfish in Bed

This morning, after the alarm rang and was promptly SMASHED, I drifted back to sleep a bit…you know how sometimes you can be asleep for 5 minutes and yet you have the most vivid, hallucinatory dreams?  Well, it was kind of like that today.  

I was thinking of Patrick Swayze circa Dirty Dancing and then Road House…he was yummy back then…recent pix of him have been so sad…I hope the poor guy isn’t in too much pain…Anyway, I was half-asleep thinking that he seemed like he would be a ‘giver’…a guy who would make sure the job got done…nice guys finish last…you know…then I started thinking about some of my favs and what category they would fall in…

Selfish – Stumble into Bed, Smelling of Whiskey and Cigs

  1. Colin Farrell
  2. Robert Pattinson – and this saddens me to think it
  3. Robert Downey Jr.
  4. Daniel Craig
  5. Gerard Butler
  6. Vince Vaughn
  7. Clive Owen
  8. Kiefer Sutherland

Selfish 

  1. John Mayer
  2. Ed Westwick (unless he is gay??)
  3. Bradley Cooper
  4. Lance Armstrong

Unselfish 

  1. Brad Pitt (you know Angie won’t put up w/any slacking in this dept)
  2. Adrien Brody (think about this one for a sec)
  3. Johnny Depp
  4. Ryan Phillipe
  5. Coach Taylor
  6. George Clooney
  7. Stephen Moyer (True Blood guy)

Again, I have no idea if this is even close to being correct!  Nor will I ever find out! LOL

Thoughts?  Discuss…