Tag Archive | frugal

The Quest for Luminosity

Luminosity? Luminousness? What’s the word?  Whatever it is, I am not. I wonder if it’s even possible for a women of a certain age to have luminous skin?? Can one be luminous with wrinkles, freckles, age spots, jowls, etc.? I think not.

Regardless, it’s fall and it’s time to TRY. ‘Tis better to try and fail than just give up, right?? So, I’m attempting an actual “Skincare Routine.”  Blah. Even saying it makes me itchy. I despise routines. I feel suffocated even using the word. Routine. Ugh.

Am using the 4 piece Boot No 7 Lift & Luminate kit from Target. It’s a day serum, day cream (with SPF 15), night serum, night cream, and then I bought an additional eye cream. Easy peasy to use and I had a coupon. #frugal I’ve been semi-diligent about using it day and night. This is definitely a step up from my fall-into-bed-with-makeup-on-and-wakeup-and-not-wash-face routine.

I decided against posting “before and after” pix. Honestly, can anyone ever really see the difference in some of the before/after shots?? I’ve decided to just go with how I feel about it. 2 weeks in?  Not fecking luminous at all. lol The stuff goes on easily, makes my skin feel soft, and smells nice so it’s not a complete waste.

And, since I was already buying snake oil, I bought an Illumask anti-aging device. #shame It’s a light therapy mask which is supposed to increase collagen, reduce fine lines and wrinkles, firm skin…a miracle in a mask for only $30. #frugal

It’s meant to be used daily for 15 minutes at a time for 30 days. There is a countdown timer on it so you know how many uses you have left. (and our friends at youtube have hacks that show you how to get more than 30 uses out of it #frugal) The huge issue I have is…15 minutes is a loooooong time. You can’t see out of the mask so there’s no walking around, no reading, no Facebook. Crime against humanity basically.

Here are my thoughts while using it:

Okay, this is nice and relaxing.

It’s warming up…reminds me of my tanning salon days (le sigh)

Do I have to pee? Dammit.

No, I am not going to pee. I can wait 15 minutes.

Okay, what can I think about now?

What if there’s a robber/rapist just stalking me now while I’m lying here blind?

Nah, Otis would be barking.

Unless he’s dead.

Shit, is any oxygen getting thru the mask?

What if I’m slowly asphyxiating myself? This would be a truly vapid way to go. #shame

Okay, maybe I’ll do some butt clenches.

Meh.

How many minutes have gone by? Eleventy four?

Is that the sound of my heart beating?

Should it be so loud? 

Maybe it’s a sign of high blood pressure? Or impending death.

I do have to pee.

Shit.

Where is the cat? She should be snuggling me now.

15 minutes is an eternity.

Oh, there’s Fiona.

And then the mask goes off.

Such a cat move to wait 14.5 minutes to snuggle. CATS!! Aloof jerks! *shakes fist*

Anyway.

Again, before/after results? Nope. Do I look better? No. Feel better? Nope.

Sigh.

 

 

Prayers Needed

In an effort to break through a weight loss plateau, I’m about to head into a Bikram yoga class. 90 minutes in a room heated to about 105 degrees.

What if I die? What if I pass out? What if everyone smells??? I’ve done this one other time, a few years ago. The sights and smells have been difficult to erase from my memory. Think “sweat dripping from man balls”… No — really. People strip down to 70s length running shorts and revel in their sweatiness.

I’ve prepaid so canceling would NOT be frugal. Sigh.

This may be my last post.

Please enjoy this while I suffer:

 

What is Life?

Welp, the Frug and I are having a rare Tuesday night date. Romantic, right??

Nope.

He’s taking me to THIS:

The Minimalists Tour

What the WHAT?

Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus have garnered an audience of more than 2 million readers at TheMinimalists.com, where they write about living a meaningful life with less stuff. They are the bestselling authors of five books and have spoken at Harvard Business School, SXSW, World Domination Summit, and many other organizations, schools, and conferences.

He’s taking me to a seminar about living with less stuff.

Is this an exorcism?

An intervention?

#freekelly

I’m tempted to wear something outrageous like this gold AmEx dress:

Or maybe just something with the Target logo?? Or something a rich old lady would wear on a cruise…covered in rhinestones and wearing alll the jewelry.

Sigh.

Trying to keep an open mind. This is the Frug’s “thing” so I want to be respectful and nonjudgy.

But.

These people are the judgy ones. “Oh, look at us and how frugal we are!  You money spending collectors of things are terrible people!”

Smug bastards.

We maximinalists are all live and let live. “I’m just over here at Sephora and then heading the Nordie’s Half Yearly Sale! Have a nice day!”

I shall report back on this thing later, God willing.

#freeKelly

 

 

 

that Frug…

That Frug, he is a wily bastard. Btw, it has come to my attention that certain dumbasses people may not know that Frug is pronounced Frooog…like FRUGAL…not Frug like thug! 😉

Anyway, you may know that the Frug is frugal (hence the name! get it now? lol)…he is also Nelson Neat.  And if you know me personally, you realize that he and I are opposites! To say the very least!  lol  Special bones of contention are: the laundry area (I am good at the ‘doing‘ of the laundry – not necessarily the ‘folding’ and the ‘putting away’ of the laundry) and the condition of the Guest Bedroom…the laundry, if it is not immediately folded/put away, it commonly left to pile up in front of the washer/dryer…and/or piled on the guest bed, to hang out with Otis while he stares out the window to alert us to danger (people walking their dogs, mail carrier, wind blowing thru the trees)…the Guest Bedroom is also where I have my computer…so, being an efficient multi-tasker (ha!), this room is also where I sometimes put my makeup on while blogging…read magazines, eat low fat/healthy snacks…drink a LOT of Diet Coke…in short, it can become a scum pit rapidly.

Which brings us to this week…which has been a bit of a F*ck Me week. When we come back from vacation, the laundry, which has been mating like bunnies in our suitcases, is completely overwhelming…and it takes me about a week to unpack all of our stuff, get it put away, wash/put away the clothes etc.  So, what does that wily Frug do to me?? He schedules the repair guy to tinker with the dryer on Monday! We got back from the beach on Sat nite!  You can imagine, if you are a pig like me I suppose, how bad the laundry area looks! (btw, we have the washer/dryer upstairs where the bedrooms are – I hear that this is way better than having to go to the basement to do it??)  So, I have to get thru what I can and then throw the rest of the stuff onto the bed in the Guest Bedroom.  Guy arrives, maybe 5 hours later than he was supposed to (OF COURSE), and fixes the thing (well, actually, he had the Frug outside on a ladder unclogging the lint/vent thingy – I have a pic – priceless)…

The next day, Tuesday, the Frug has the construction type guys over to do some repairs to the drywall, imbed some cables, etc.  So, it’s a mad cleanup so these clowns won’t judge us (aka ME) on our lack of cleanliness…oh, and get this…he wakes me up at 7ish (sorry, working gal friends, this lazy beech tends to sleep in on summer days so 7 is EARLY!) to tell me that the cat box reeks and it might be too gross for the workers and to please get up and clean it.  MFWTF???

I allowed him to live.

Today, he has a computer guy come to work on the computer hell situation…I shouldn’t bitch too much since the end result is this selfish bitch has herself a faboo new Mac to blog on! Woo Hoo!  However f*cking comma the guy being in this room aka the infamous Guest Bedroom, meant that the whole @($&)@ room needed to be gutted in order to be presentable. Like this clown cares about our level of slobbitude?!  Frug was underneath the desk, finding old candies that the elves must have dropped when they were here last Christmas Eve, old receipts that had been stolen out of my wallet, misc. cables, eyeliner pencils that had been stolen from my very organized Make-Up Area (heavy heavy sarcasm here since an organized anything is a foreign concept)…etc.  You get the idea.  The Frug has truly missed his calling. He should be on that Clean House show…mocking us pigs and making us clean that shit up! LOL

Anyway, what was my point?  Oh. Somehow, he managed to get my lazy ass to unpack and get all the laundry DONE. Really done. He managed to get this Guest Bedroom completely cleaned out and organized…

Sure hope he doesn’t open any closets.

muahahaha

Ode to My Husband on His (undisclosed) Birthday

On your (data deleted) birthday, I wanted to use this forum to extoll your virtues. To express my love and devotion. Think it’s very ’00s to use a blog for this. haha

I love that:Edit

  • you are tall, thin and neat, and yet not gay.  Or that thin actually.
  • you have a full head of black hair and soft carmel-y brown eyes. Just like Otis. Hmm.
  • you seem willing to look at my myriad shortcomings and see them as part of my charm.
  • you are unfailingly patient w/the kids even when they are acting like defiant little pigs.
  • even during some dark times, you wake up early, get in the shower, and get right to work.
  • you don’t smoke, play golf or gamble.
  • you are a “world renowned mobile media expert.”
  • all dogs give you the head nod as they pass…like ‘yo Brad! s’up?’
  • you would rob a bank for me as long as I was wearing my black leather pants.
  • I can make you a grilled cheese sandwich and you make ‘yum’ noises over it.
  • you like to workout but don’t need to do “Centuries” or swim laps across the Potomoc.
  • even after working out, you don’t smell! Just Coppertone and salt – which is a sexy combo 😉
  • you are creative and kind. 
  • you are also persistant and perseverant…as all Customer Service reps (and their Supervisors and Managers) who have dared to cross you now know.
  • you say things like “Being Frugal Can be Fun” and are completely serious.
  • you whip out the air guitar and sing inappropriate song lyrics after fun nights out.

You proved to be very wily prey for me…but ultimately, no match for my hunting skills.  My telemarketing (which ranged from the simple “I love you” calls to the angry “do you really want to die alone like your friend Bob?”) and direct mail campaigns doomed you to a life with me! LOL  

I love you and feel lucky to have you as my husband!

Happy Birthday!

Kelly