Tag Archive | 50

Ohai

So, hey everyone…

I’m several months into the big 5-0 and I have to say it blows! lol #notkidding #sucksballs

One of the super-fun things about 50 is the utter shutdown of my metabolism. I mean, I’ve heard “older women” bitch about this but I assumed it wouldn’t happen to me.

Even cutting out starchy carbs, other carbs, sugars, etc. Not alcohol, of course. Let’s not get crazy.

Nada.

Sigh.

I weigh myself pretty much daily and here’s my scale:

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Mail Call

Well, it happened. I had that birthday. The one I was dreading. I’m alive. Haggard, but alive.

One bonus about having birthdays (other than the whole “I’m still breathing” stuff) is the freebies!  My Sephora gift. The Ulta gift. The discounts. So, with that in mind, here’s what arrived today. So festive.IMG_3506

Balloons. A birthday greeting. No return address.

What could it be???

Hmm.

I opened it curiously.

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BASTARDS!

I refuse to open mail from them. I am YOUNG, dammit. But they tricked me. Lured me in with pretty balloons and hopes of some kind of fun discount card. Nope, it’s (#$%_^ AARP trying to recruit me into their old age cult.

Nice try.

Scowl.