Archive | July 2015

2 Absolute Gems to Brighten Your Day.

In between sobbing like a fool over Cecil the Lion #RIP, I was howling at some stuff on Buzzfeed.

Matt. Bellassai. Soul Mate? Spirit Animal? God?

You must must must tune into his “Whine About It Wednesdays.” The premise is Funny Guy Drinks Wine at Desk and Whines about Shit. (again, why didn’t I think of this??????) I’m posting what he did today b/c it goes along with another fun Buzzfeed post!

Why Clothes Shopping is the Worst.

And the other knock-it-outta-the-ballpark post from Buzzfeed — This woman photographed herself in RL lighting and in the dressing rooms of 20 different retailers. Clickity Click! —->>>> Eff you, shitty dressing room lighting!

 

 

Happy Anniversary to ME.

Well, it’s been 6 years of this blog. SIX. I think I celebrated the anniversary by doing a few loads of laundry and picking up dog shit in the yard.

Seriously, I feel like my day-to-day life is more boring now than it was when all I was doing was changing diapers and praying for a good night’s sleep.

And what is sleep? Between the stupid perimenopause (which can last 10 years! Yahoo!) and the Frug’s snoring and my general anxiety (Will I die tonight? Or will I die in a plane crash? Or plummeting off the side of the Bay Bridge?)  and specific anxiety (Did I remember to turn off the gas on the stove? Do I hear the dog puking in his crate? Where is Sarcasmo? When is he coming home? Is he even alive?) and the super-fun aches and pains of being an old lady…there is NO SLEEP. I used to be the Queen of Sleep. Now I lie there THINKING until I pass out…and then wake up with both arms DEAD and my lower back in spasm. Sigh. Get back to sleep and then wake up SWEATING. The Frug has the thermostat set to INFERNO over night b/c why would we need a/c while we sleep??? #killkillkill  I also have to sleep in a position that accommodates Fiona b/c she is so sweet and I love her and she needs to be happy.

And the nights when Sarcasmo is “chilling with his bros” I’ve taken to keeping my phone in bed with me, which is a huge sleep hygiene no-no. I check to see if he’s texted me. I check to see if I’ve gotten an alert from the teen driver thingy. Those are fun. “Hard Braking Event Detected.” “Fast Acceleration Event Detected.” “Overspeed Event.” And my favorite “Unauthorized Driving Period Event.” That’s when he is driving past midnight.  If I haven’t heard from him, I check Twitter for police and traffic reports. What do I think I’m going to find???? Who knows.

How do parents live through these teenage years??? And it would be different if he was happy and nice and loved us. Nope. We are assholes. Us! Me and the Frug!! Assholes?? Come on! We’re the best! I may blog more about my assholishness…lol

Sigh.

Well, at least the cat loves me. Maybe. One can never really be sure of that.

A Nightmare for Modern Times

Woke up this morning, feeling panicky.

Nightmare.

Clowns?

Ghosts?

Monster under the bed?

Tsunami? (always a fave)

Bridge? (a classic for me)

Teeth falling out? (tell me I’m not the only one?)

HS and I’ve got to take a final in a class I’ve never been to and can’t find the classroom?

Nope.

I hear dripping and go to investigate…

Tub filled to overflowing…

In the tub…

Floating…

Obviously dead…

My iphone.

*SHRIEKS*

NNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!