Archive | September 2014

Eff Fall

I mean, WHY DO PEOPLE LOVE FALL??

<insert scowling emoji here>

Eff fall.

Yeah, yeah, I like sweaters. I like yoga pants. I LOVE boots.

I like pumpkin — pie only, not anything weird “pumpkin spiced.” And adding that to coffee?  White girls iz weird.

Football games? Sure, they’re fun. No reason they can’t play when it’s warm out.

Back to school? Kids out of the house all day.  Yeah, that’s nice. In theory. In reality, it’s just Mama Taxi Time. Starts at 6:45am and ends some days at 8:30pm. This is “supposed” to get better once Sarcasmo has his full driver’s license. I  don’t know. It seems like that will just bring me more anziety. Trust me, I do NOT need more anxiety. My brain churns up more stuff to worry about each minute.

What else?

I dislike leaves. Yeah, they’re pretty but come on, who likes raking? Who likes the horrible piles of leaves that kids jump in — never realizing that every cat and dog in a 5 mile radius has pissed on it.  Who likes the leaves left on the street that are as slick as ice when it rains?? Huh? Huh?? WHO DOES?

I dislike the cold. Even a little cold. If I have to put the heat on in my car, that’s IT. It’s the start of dry skin season and weird indoor heat induced facial flushing. REJECT.

Fall is like a seasonal harbinger of DOOM. Because…what’s next? Winter. *spits*

Best said by Ned Stark. #RIP