So, yeah. The Anxiety Monster seems to have set up permanent residence in my brain. Bastard. Will not shut up! Still worried about all my usual stuff — flying (Where is that plane? I am NOT buying the “Oh we ran some very sophisticated algorithms and have concluded…” SHOW ME THE PLANE!), bridges, death, all normal things. My latest worry though? Driving. Specifically, SARCASMO DRIVING. I know, he was just born, how can he be old enough to drive???
Sarcasmo. Is. Driving.
Well, not really. He has his learner’s permit which means he needs an adult in the car at all times. “Teaching” and mentoring him. This is not as fun as it sounds 😉 My darling firstborn does not take criticism well. Nor does he enjoy the sight of his mother cowering in the passenger seat yelling, “JESUS CHRIST! YOU ARE TOO CLOSE TO THE PARKED CARS!” He appears to be very nonchalant about learning to drive. Like it’s no big deal. IT’S A BIG DEAL. He’s like:
Luckily, the Frug has really stepped up and is taking him out for long drives on the weekends. The Frug is very calm about driving and teaching so this is better. I still need to help out though and hopefully scar him for life in the process. I can still hear my parents’ admonitions about “black ice” and “tractor trailers jackknifing” and “proper following distance” etc. I’m hoping to instill enough fear that he will be cautious…you know, not like a TEENAGE BOY. Sigh.
So, even though he is at least 9 months away from driving solo, my brain has all kinds of scenarios cooked up to entertain me with while I’m trying to go to sleep. You know, the police showing up at the door with the “we regret to inform you…” speech, etc. The child hasn’t even been “driving” for a month and my subconscious has him in a heap of twisted metal. UGH UGH UGH. Other variations include fun “what if” scenarios involving Sarcasmo driving 12 to school and then… Or, what if we let Sarcasmo drive us across the dreaded Bridge from Hell on the way to the beach and then…
Yeah, I see that ^^^ and think “most” don’t happen…but SOME DO. lol