So, how many people just lost their jobs?? JFC. Trainwreck is too weak of a word for Charlie Sheen.
Not quite 40, after 2 kids…bitch is doing something right. You know that it pains me to say all this. *sighs*
Blake Griffin — Evidence of a Dunk Contest SCANDAL?.
Okay, I know this is NOT my usual fare. Why would *I* care about this?? Because, believe it or not, I actually WATCHED this the other night! Me?! lol The Frug and I were out on our weekly date (after an entire WEEK apart *cue dramatic tears*) and this was on in the dive bar we went to after some yummy Thai food.
I hated this guy – Blake Griffin, LA Clippers. He was so showboaty and “LA”, kwim? And this douchey slam-dunk-over-a-car biznaz repulsed me! And apparently, some clown on the internet is pissy b/c Blake hasn’t admitted this was a “stolen” idea. Whatever.
More importantly, I looked prettah hot that night. So hot that some clown TOUCHED me inappropriately. Seriously. The Frug was in the mens room and I felt a finger trace along the area where my shirt had ridden up above the back of my jeans. I whipped my head around and the guy next to me had that “innocent whistle” face on. I switched places with the Frug when he came back….I can’t prove that the guy touched me but I just know he did. MFWTF?
Prior to that, a group of weirdos with full beards and knit ski caps got thrown out for harassing a waitress. The place was seriously rapey. I was worried that, if there were pinball machines there, it would end up being right out of The Accused, kwim?
Oh, speaking of rape (nice and most unusual segue!), here’s Ashlee’s lovely addition to the Urban Dictionary…
STOP THE PRESSES! Jennifer Aniston has cut her hair!
I think her hair is always gorgeous so I’m biased…
She is FORTY?? What the WHAT?! I had no idea! And she has had a child? (he’s like 18 or something) She is gorgeous.
I love her on Modern Family…she’s hilarious. And now I shall go steal the children’s Valentine’s candies to assuage my jealousy.
Does anyone see his purity ring? *giggles* These two looked tired and drunk, doncha think? The DListed article (hilarious as always, MichaelK) mocks Joe for not being all over Ms Greene like he should be!
Gave her a lovely Chanel charm bracelet for her bday. Not too shabby, right?!
Please, Baby Jesus, tell me this is fake?? The crazeeee chicas at Twitarded have found a new perfume. It’s called…*gulps* and *shudders* “Vulva“…
AND, there’s a commercial…it’s so hilarious! It’s like exercise porn or an exercise bike fetish video or something cray cray like that. Enjoy:
Frankly, I expected “more” kwim? And what’s with the wording? The Lord Chamberlain is commanded by the Queen to invite you?? Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It’s like “Personally, I would never have invited you but the Queen commanded the LC and so here you are…great”
And check out the attire…uniform, morning coat or lounge suit? WTF is a lounge suit? Sounds like one of my Dad’s “track suits” from the early 80s or Juicy Couture sweats OR maybe Pajama Jeans would work? *giggles*
And 1900 guests? JFC. For someone like me, that equates to almost 4,000 eyes staring at me, watching, judging. *shudders* Good luck with that, Kate!
And an 11am ceremony??? Ugh. Too early. How early is the bride-to-be going to have to get up to be Princess Ready by 11am?? Poor thing. I’d still be all puffy eyed at that hour.
Oh MY! This one is a toughie! January Jones versus Diane Kruger?? Hmm. My first thought is Diane, definitely. But then I worry I’m discounting JJ b/c of her bitchy Mad Men persona in Betty Draper.
Btw, HATING JJ’s makeup in this pic. Gold eyeshadow (which I normally like w/blue eyes but hers is caked on a bit) and then the blood red lips…kind of garish. Makes Diane look softer and prettier and more natural in comparison.
Well, sort of…The Frug has been away since last Saturday!! He was in Barcelona for a “conference” *rolls eyes*…due to the crazies & criminals in the world, he asked me not to talk about his trip on Facebook or Twitter or here. It’s been killing me!
He just landed so I can SPILL! lol
However, I can’t take the time to fill you in on all the nothing I’ve been doing all week! I have to race around the house, open the windows to air out of the smell of sloth, clean up, hide shopping bags, and in general make it look like I have not neglected the house/pets/kids/personal hygiene all week!