Lindsay Lohan at Betty Ford.
Check out the schedule at Betty Ford…not too shabby, eh? Minus the 6am wake-up call…wonder if they let you sleep in?? And, it seems like they have lots of “Med Calls”…aren’t these people addicts? What kind of meds would they be handing out?? Diet pills? lol and kidding! I still think Promises is way better b/c it’s right there in Malibu and much more posh. Oh, wait. She’s been to Promises. She’s sort of doing a Tour d’Rehabs. *sighs* Girl is a sad, sad thing.
Everyone knows I long for rehab, right?? (*whispers* only a fancy schmancy celebrity one tho) Organic foods, yoga, talking about ME ME ME…no dishes, carpools, dog walking, cleaning the kitty litter, helping w/homework…*smiles* Time to crack open a bottle of Mama’s pink juice! *giggles*
Nobody puts Baby in a corner! Man, she looks GREAT! Anyone watch this show tho??? It makes me feel queasy to watch people who are NOT dancers humiliate themselves. I know some end up being good but it still feels like everyone is rooting for a trainwreck…
News – Jennifer Grey Looks the Same She Did in 1987 – Style & Beauty – UsMagazine.com.
OMFG, that MichaelK from Dlisted is so bad, so funny, so wrong…this piece is supposed to be about Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez (mmmm) and his dog…it ends up being about MichaelK and a hookup he had with a guy who had a dog…this dog was huge. Like “if Marmaduke was a Hogan” huge.
That dog isn’t only made of evil, it’s made of saliva too.
You know, because we were licking each other’s parts and there’s the dog licking his right next to us. Menage a NO! NO! NO!
I swear that dog winked at me like, “Bye, whore.”
Last night was a super fun night of Homework Help with 9. You see, when your child cannot write, who writes for him? You guessed it! ME. Last night’s homework was especially painful…one of the items for Math Homework was a math game…a game that required someone (ME) to cut approximately 50 game cards, dig up game “chips”, find dice, set up the board, move 9’s game piece for him each time, help him figure out the math part of it, write down the steps on the “Game Record”, etc. Have I mentioned how much I DESPISE games? UGH. And, I hate games that come in a box, ready to go…games that I have to basically create myself are a special form of torture. Thanks, 3rd Grade Teacher! *growls*
And that was just one part of his 8 different ‘things’ he had for homework. As they get older, they are supposed to need less and less help…well, with the lack of fine motor skills, 9 will always needs someone’s help. And, again, by someone, I mean ME. It’s my cross to bear and I really should just STFU** about it…he’s a lucky kid…I’m a lucky mama…S-T-F-U.
So, we’re upstairs working on the ‘word sort’ and ‘type words 2x’ thing when I hear banging and clanging coming from the kitchen…normally I would scream ‘WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON DOWN THERE?’ but I decided to be Zen and just let the Frug deal with whatever it was…
When I came downstairs later…what did I find? A clean kitchen! Like really clean. The Frug and 12 cleaned up after dinner…unloaded the dishwasher, reloaded it, and cleaned the counters! With actual cleaning products! The place looked and smelled clean!
And I didn’t have to ask them! The Frug saw me struggling to keep it together w/the _)@$*U&( homework and he thought it might be nice to clean the kitchen for me. *swoons*
I think I’m in love!
**STFU means ‘Shut The F*ck Up’ just in case you didn’t know! 😉
Gee, how awesome is it to have a POLL decided which of your FOUR mugshots is the “best”?
News – Which Is the Best Lindsay Lohan Mugshot? – Celebrity News – UsMagazine.com.
Seriously? People have their panties in a twist over what Katy Perry wore on Sesame Street??? She’s fully clothed. The freaking muppets don’t wear any clothes at all! Naked furry bits all over the place! Bert and Ernie are an Ambiguously Gay Duo. (any SNL watchers out there?) This is seriously ridiculous. Why are we so uptight in this country?? She didn’t show ANYTHING. Jebus.
Katy Perry’s Honkers — Too Hot for ‘Sesame Street’.
Woo woo woooooot! I was able to book a $50 facial!!!! (it was yesterday but my intense shoegasm pre-empted the facial report!) **editing back in — this facial has a retail value of $100 so I saved $50!! Being Frugal CAN Be Fun!!**
It was at the Circé Aveda salon in Old Town…the lovely Sarah spent 50 minutes cleansing, exfoliating and massaging my face hide. Note that I did not say EXTRACTING b/c she didn’t!! *wails* That’s my favorite part of the facial! It’s like a pedicure without the callus shaving or a manicure sans cuticle cutting! (yeah yeah I know those are supposed to be “wrong” but I do.not.care!!). *sighs*
Other than THAT, it was great…perfect music playing (new age-y but not the waterfall crap that makes me feel like peeing the entire time), perfect temperature in the room (mama hates to shiver whilst being pampered), excellent facial massage–I did wonder if she was trying to actually RUB the wrinkles on my forehead OFF but I prefer a hard massage over a wimpy one any day of the week.
So, I left there all glowy and relaxed! Just on time to go visit the Arlington County offices to catch up on administrivia related to my Fail Wagon aka the Highlander 😉
Hope my Superficial Sisters were able to take advantage of the $50/50% off Deals!! (apologies and sad faces to my sisters who work *shudder* or live somewhere like Omaha *double shudder*)
Japan is my new favorite country! They were like ‘hellz no, Paris! You may NOT sully our county with your filthy drug-using presence!’ muahaha
News – Paris Hilton Flies Back Home After Being Banned From Japan – Celebrity News – UsMagazine.com.
Bahahahaha Seriously??? Hilary Clinton wore a hair clip to meetings at the UN?? I’m even embarrassed to leave the house and go to McD’s drive thru wearing my hair like that (naturally, I DO do that but I feel badly about myself for it)…
So, what are we supposed to do when we’re out and about and our hair is in FAIL, which is, I suppose, what happened to Hilary. (giving her the benefit of the doubt here – she couldn’t possibly have styled it that way in the morning and thought she looked good, right?) What’s an acceptable way to dealing with flat bangs or bangs in your eyes or suddenly limp and greasy hair??? Headbands? That can’t be it…usually if my hair’s effed up, my face isn’t far behind, kwim? And Hilary got a raft of shit for wearing headbands back in the day…What’s the alternative? And why can’t scrunchies be back and be cool? I LOVED my scrunchies. *sighs*
About Hillary Clinton’s Hair Clip…..
Oh, that was just me having a shoegasm. I have been searching the globe (literally) for the perfect black platform peeptoe booties! (this reminded me of a scene from When Harry Met Sally where Jess is trying to get Sally alone to tell her she’s ‘stealing’ her date and she says “oh, I’ve been looking for a red leather pump’ or something)…anyway, *squeals* my friend the UPS guy brought me an offering today…behold the shoes!
Can you see my Potato Digging toe clogging the peep toe area?
I am in LOVE *singing* I am in LOVE!
Deets? They are Miss Sixty...black suede…the front/top-of-foot area is pleated (or ruched I suppose but that word cracks me up too much – it must be trilled rrrrrrrroooosh, kwim?)…approx 4″ heel…1″ platform…and they have a little lug sole action going on in the front/toe/bottom…p-e-r-f-e-c-t-i-o-n!
They are $$ (not crazy Christian Louboutin $$ but for one who hasn’t worked in a DECADE! they are!)…I trolled different shoe sites to find the best deal…got them via Victoria’s Secret and got 20% off AND free shipping. The Frug is right, saving money CAN be fun! *giggles*