Archive | December 2009

New Year’s is for Amateurs

Or so says the Frug. Only started saying this once our NYE babysitter supply dried up! 😉 Who’s doing something scandalous and fun??????!  The Frug and I are taking the kiddies for Mexican then watching the ball drop while we quietly get drunk. Glam time! 😉

Christmas “Vacation” by the Numbers

10 – hours in the car, roundtrip
9 – people in a tiny shoebox house
4 – dogs in said house
2 – vomiting dogs
3 – number of times I wanted to stab know-it-all teen nephew
5.5 – hours of sleep for the Frug due to evil pull-out sofa bed
10 – hours of sleep for me due to copious amts of ‘zin
16 – Advils taken (over a 4 day period)
50 – number of Christmas cards ordered
73  – number of Christmas cards needed
6 – gifts received that were UNEXPECTED! grrr
$100 – 2 nights of boarding for Otis
2,000 – approx. # of calories taken in before noon on 12/27
0 – amount of exercise from 12/24 thru 12/28
6 – days until kids go back to school

Is the Season of Eating Over Yet?

Damnit.  I was doing very very well. No cookies, not too much alcohol, staying on the treadmill.  Good girl!  Then we have a blizzard.  And I cannot possibly go to the gym, right? Then I start baking.  Then we go to PA (the Land of Lard). F*ck me.

Sins:

  1. 2 lbs of beef tenderloin divided by 3 people (G is 11 yet eats like a man) – gone in 1 meal.
  2. homemade crab cakes – hmm, thought there would be a few for lunch the next day?? nope
  3. pineapple casserole — this dish starts by sauteing a loaf of bread in 2 sticks of butter…
  4. oven roasted potatoes – potatoes, oil, salt=yum
  5. potato chip cookies – 4 sticks of butter, potato chips, sugar, nuts, flour. slobber…
  6. chocolate – who invented the @($&@ candy dish? Put that shit away!!!!
  7. eggs/bacon/hash browns – daily. sigh.
  8. new york style pizza

So we go to see my Aunt Sage for Christmas. It’s 10am. Mark’s GF insisted we eat a trucker breakfast before we left (apparently she *needs* to be needed and must feed us)…we get to Auntie Sage’s and the )(&%# candy dishes are there. 4 of them. I surreptitiously pop a teeny tiny choc. covered caramel in my mouth…Eagle Eyes Frug sees me and stage whispers ‘jeez, how many do you have in there??????!’ hhhhiiiisssssssssssssssss  11:30 rolls around and we are at the

Olive Garden for authentic Italian food! (eye roll and sarcasm implied here folks). Sage is a feeder also. I try to get a small pizza…’Not getting a DINNER?’  Oh, a pizza is nice and big…’hmph. It’s not a DINNER’ (f*ck me!  It’s 11am and we had bfast at 9am!!!)  I order a shrimp appetizer – the Sicilian Scampi…

swimming.in.goo.horrifying.

to shut her up — it comes and is swimming in a gelatinous creamy goo.  Shudder.  I have no shame so I take each shrimp and carefully wipe off all the nasty sauce before eating them.  Onlookers were horrified. Garrett took one for the team and had the ‘Tour of Italy’ – this heart attack on a plate consists of fettucine alfredo, chicken parm, and lasagna.  Auntie Sage was pleased.   The Frug had a light lunch of spaghetti with Italian sausages.  Aunt Sage devoured her usual chicken parm w/side of spaghetti…

the woman eats every single bite of this - clean plate club.

Get this…we’re eating our ‘DINNERS’ and the Frug whips out his iphone to check on the calorie and fat content of each of our dishes. Garrett’s ‘won’ with 1450 calories and 74 grams of fat. Not bad for an 11 year old.  Yeesh.

a light lunch. Burp.

Back to candy for a minute. Why do people give boxes of chocolate as gifts? Do.not.give.me.a.box.of.chocolate. It’s like giving me heroin or something. The sh*t talks to me.

Eating Season is over on New Year’s Day??  Right?  Or does it go til the Superbowl?  Or is it Valentine’s Day??  Wait,  just found my old post about  the Season of Gluttony…terrific.  It  never ends!  mmmmmmmooooooooooooooooo

This entry was posted on December 29, 2009, in 1. 3 Comments